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I was raped too at fifteen. Also, at 42. I’m certainly not the classic “victim “type we read about. It was the seventies and everyone was going to bed with everyone. So much sex that I didn’t even realize I was very much raped that night until I was about thirty years old. When I did realize it I was really, really angry for a while because my adult self wanted to yell at the twenty year old bastard and at myself for not having my “adult “personality at age fifteen. Silly, maybe, but a jumble of lots of feelings were passing through me. Somehow, the rape at 42 was different. Maybe because this time they were three Moroccans and I didn’t know them. There was no self blaming behavior in this second case. Anyway, I really feel very positively about what you wrote here. It gave me insight and for that I thank you very much!!