It’s just keratin

Jen W.
Jen W.
Sep 6, 2018 · 4 min read

Fingernails and hairs are made of the same base ingredient- keratin.

That’s the argument I always used against my mom when she would tell me I couldn’t cut or color my hair.

I come from a conservative Christian community, and my family was- and is- no exception.

This meant that I, as a girl, could do whatever I wanted with my hair, as long as I a) did not get it cut shorter than just below my shoulders, and b) did not color it.

But aside from that, I was totally free!

(Sure.)

But I’ve always been a self-proclaimed tomboy, and all that long, messy, tangly hair would get in the way constantly. I could braid it, put it in a ponytail, a bun, whatever, but it would still somehow hamper my activities.

I realize now that part of my exasperation was borne out of being restrained…but it was a matter of principle. I should be allowed to do what I wanted.

My hair, right?.

I wanted hair short enough that I could wash it under a hose without having to worry about tangling.

Short enough that I could run my fingers through it, and it would spike up comically.

Short enough I could put my swim cap on without going through the elaborate braiding, rolling and tucking I had to do every day.

But my mom thought if I cut my hair that short, the resulting image- combined with my tendency to dress in “boyish” clothes and do “boyish” things- would cause people to “think things”.

I knew what she meant.

I knew what she was thinking, but there was no way I was going to have that discussion with her at 14.

I would just be causing trouble for myself and further worry her about my view of the world.

(And I was right.)

But I was convinced this was a battle for self-autonomy, so I persisted in pleading for the change, and tried to figure out ways to de-bunk her preconceptions about how I would act if I got that haircut.

She tried giving me other reasons: my hair was so long, and so soft, and so pretty- did I really want to cut it?

(The answer was yes: I grew it so long and so healthy so I could donate it to a hair charity when I finally got permission to cut it off; It wasn’t because I especially valued it.)

She said you can cut hair shorter, but not longer; wouldn’t I regret cutting it as soon as I did? Maybe, but that’s what experimentation is for- to try out different things to see what I prefer.

She even told me the reason she was telling me “no” was because my dad didn’t want the girls in the family to have short hair.

(That made me mad; why should he be able to decidewhat I could look like?)

So of course I went and asked him. He said he didn’t really care either way, that it was just hair.

I’ll admit that I was being stubborn: I could cut my hair, but didn’t want a lame shoulder length cut, I wanted a pixie. I wanted a bob, or an undercut.

My mom would ask me why I didn’t care about having such long and beautiful hair. I told her that to me, it was just like fingernails; you can paint them, you trim them and take care of them, but you can cut them off.

Hair and fingernails were just another way to express yourself, and I wanted to express myself with short hair.

It was as simple as that.

Eventually, I got to cut my hair. I first did extensive research and brought pictures to her to prove short hair could still be “feminine”.

I looked up cuts that could be styled many different ways.

I showed her that having shorter hair wouldn’t change me, just a single part of my appearance.

I helped my mom open her eyes to another form of personal expression and the (general lack of) consequences that resulted from making that decision, and now most of my sisters have decided to cut their hair shorter.

I can look back at my thoughts back then and see that I was being stubborn, but so was my mom, and if I hadn’t pushed her to see my perspective, my sisters would all be having a harder time getting her to accept their own ways of self-expression.

Some things you grow out of, but other things you have to hold onto to grow through.

And my hair is still made of the same stuff as my fingernails, but now I can treat it just like them: just another way to show my personality.

Jen W.

Written by

Jen W.

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