On not playing it safe:

You ever meet someone who only does something if they know they can succeed? And if they think they’ll fail, they just won’t try at all? Or they’ll make excuses for it? Ugh.

Granted, that’s me sometimes. But not all the time. I like to think that if there’s anything else than a 100% chance of failure, then you should go for it. Again, not always. But it reminds me that life is never easy, and I have to push myself to get what I want. If you’re not pushing yourself, then maybe you’re not doing what you really want in life. Besides, the struggles I experience are going to make me stronger, as cheesy as that is, and as much as I hate to think of that. I’ve come to realize that my bodily injuries of the past were in no way that bad. But, without the proper perspective/help, I was stuck. Thankfully, that experience has played a huge part in who I am today.

I applied to 2 scholarships this year. Didn’t get either. The first one sucked, but by the second one I was like…hey I might as well try. I got rejected from 3 schools. Well, 2 hard No’s and a pretty obvious one that I’m not going to pursue. Ouch.

I applied to one crazy reach school and I’m scared to reach out to ask them, but I’m going to email them tomorrow and ask. I’d rather know, AND I’m actively pursuing something that will probably hurt when I get the news back. But I’ve got to do it, because I want to live in this new way where I’m not scared to put myself out there, and I’m confident I myself. I mean that’s a small step, but a step nonetheless. I was just going to avoid it completely.

Even if things don’t work out the way you wanted it, people say to be thankful for the experience you went through. And that’s really hard to do! But I’d rather try really hard, and even if I fail, I’ll remind myself that I learned a lot from it so I don’t make the same mistake again.

Playing it safe helps you avoid possible mistakes, possible embarrassment, possible sadness in the first place…but then you also avoid growing as a person, and you avoid the possibility of actually succeeding and being happy! And I’d rather not do that. This is a challenge to myself. Even if I don’t get into the graduate school I really want, I will keep looking for other schools or other jobs. I’ll make it work, I always do!

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