01/04

01/04 was one of the days after I collapsed in the coffee shop after a phone call and was embraced by a stranger. She had green shoes and beautiful skin.

It was one of the days after I refused to walk hallways and look in eyes because “everything is going to get better.” It had to.

It was one of the days after I heard “I’m suffering” and wondered how someone so young knew such a heavy word.

It was one of the days after we took a walk in the cold and had light saber fights and he told me he was excited to go back to school. In the future. Knowing there was going to be one. (Because what kid thinks there won’t?)

01/04 was one of the days after blurs of phone calls and tasteless food and hugs from faces I didn’t recognize.

After pacing and staring and shaking.
After praying and praying and praying.
And praying.

It was one of the days after screaming and empty eyes.

01/04 was the day he died.