Running
through not around
Running through powered me these past 3.5 years, and arguably my whole life prior. Running through the first treatment. Running through the radiation. Running through the first transplant. Running through the second transplant. Running.
Where was I running? To a brighter future. To a day without cancer. What did I miss by running?
I am so so very lucky. Amidst all this running, you taught me to slow down and savor each moment. To find solace and appreciation in the mundane and the simple. The things often overlooked. A restful sleep. One single bite of food. A discussion in your classroom. A morning in pajamas. Three simple words. There are so many more.
These moments actually bring the most peace in life. Simple calmness. Cancer could not steal that from us. And, it will not now, from me.
I know that it is ok to embrace the moments of laughter now, for a bad moment may not be far behind. And, for me to properly honor and live the way you taught, I must cherish each one. Good or bad. Safe or scary.
“There is a story of a woman running away from tigers. She runs and runs and the tigers are getting closer and closer. When she comes to the edge of a cliff, she sees some vines there, so she climbs down and holds on to the vines. Looking down, she sees that there are tigers below her as well. She then notices that a mouse is gnawing away at the vine to which she is clinging. She also sees a beautiful little bunch of strawberries close to her, growing out of a clump of grass. She looks up and she looks down. She looks at the mouse. Then she just takes a strawberry, puts it in her mouth, and enjoys it thoroughly. Tigers above, tigers below. This is actually the predicament that we are always in, in terms of our birth and death. Each moment is just what it is. It might be the only moment of our life; it might be the only strawberry we’ll ever eat. We could get depressed about it, or we could finally appreciate it and delight in the preciousness of every single moment of our life.” -Pema Chodron
