11/30

you were always so quiet

but loving you was loud

late night battle hymns

and frantic rhythm

you were a safe space

a temporary reprieve

a way to breathe

and

a route home

but i must have misinterpreted

all those sudden turns

for growth spurts because

baby

you grew right out of my chest

like a fern unhinged

and now

you take the good idea

and i’ll take the still loving you

in the heat of a night spent loathing what you did to the ridges in my hands

how they ache like cold wind’s first kiss

how they mourn like old friend

you were always so quiet

so now here take the mic

take my throat

take my crying out to a body no longer,

i can’t use it/this anymore,

you take the chance to do something other than close a book

and i’ll take the marks in the spine,

the dogeared pages

the words in the margins

and the overlooked margins too

and i’ll beat the flint against stone heart

and i’ll let it go soon

i’ll let it drift quietly

i’ll forget what you planted here

i’ll give you up

like you did me

i’ll give you up

i swear