Where Did My “Relaxing” By the Pool Go?
Managing symptoms of sensory overload when kids are screaming and shooting at each other.
The sharp sounds of child’s play stab through the veil of the sunny summer day into the center of my brain.
Like a bee sting or a broken bone, every scream, yell and whine is intensely painful.
The distress is quick.
My face contorts.
My breath catches.
The war cries of boys with water guns and screams of feigned resistance by their female counterparts wash over my awareness like a tidal wave. It amps up to a tsunami. And I am Fukushima. Core damage. Radioactive.
My nervous system is reacting to sensory stimuli over its low threshold. Overwhelm that seems to have no rational solution.
For temporary relief and self-destruction
1. Think about past or possible future pains, mistakes and problems
My son is so obnoxiously loud! No wonder I’ve seen the inside of half a dozen principals’ offices. Maybe someday it will be parole offices.
2. Isolate to avoid distress
I am sitting in the farthest, shadiest corner, not looking up from this black mirror, NOT talking to anyone.
3. Take out your feelings on others with anger or control
Every time a distress wave hits me: “If you [whoever is loudest in that moment] keep doing [whatever they’re doing while yelling], you will. Get. Out. Of. The. Pool!”
4. Avoid pleasant activities because you don’t don’t think you deserve to feel better
It’s 100+ degrees out, but instead of cooling off in the pool, I choose sweating on the cheap plastic deck chair.
5. Surrender to the pain and resign to live a miserable and unfulfilling life
See above: cheap plastic deck chair. Add small puddle of thigh sweat and dramatic sighs.
Or you might help the thought-churning machine in your head
Tolerating the distress of sensory overload more functionally and with more sustainable relief requires just two steps:
1. Distract, to buy time so you can calm down before you take action to deal with your distress.
2. Relax, to cool the fire of emotion, keep panic at bay, help you regain strength, and bring peace and relief from pain. Now your brain can think of healthier ways to cope.
Apply liberally to avoid future nuclear meltdowns
1. Distract
I could count the blooming flowers on the plants growing through the fence next to me. Eyeball the length of the fence around the pool. Multiply an estimate of how many flowers cover the rectangular perimeter.
Now that my mind is off on its pointless and attention-pulling task…
2. Relax
I could put in my ear buds and search for something poolside appropriate on Spotify. Probably not This is the Sea by The Waterboys, or Take Me to the River by Talking Heads. Maybe Mother of the Waters by Misk’i Takiy?
Eat a strawberry, slowly.
Drink some coconut water.
Stand up on my sweaty legs and stretch.
Prepare myself better next time by bringing noise-cancelling headphones.
Or wear my swimsuit and cannonball those warmongering rapscallions, turn warring whines into surprised and delighted screams and laughter.
Not as relaxing, but definitely more satisfying.
