What do i wanna be when i grow up
I’m sitting here debating the choices: programmer, copywriter, writer, pilot. There are tons of things to be. I just wanna make my own money and have some sort of title to use as validation. Because, even though I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom, I seem to need something else to make me feel like I’m really doing something with my life.
Why is this?
Why is it that when someone asks what I do, I get nervous and try to find an answer for them.
“Well, I was asked to create a website.”
But I haven’t had ANY time to actually do so. My husband works long hours as a restaurant manager, making me the primary parent of our almost one-year old daughter. And creating a website while watching your one-year old daughter is next to impossible.
“Well, I…am a stay-at-home mom.”
“Yeah, but you work too, right?”
“Oh yeah. I’m creating a website.”
Why do I need to have some sort of title besides mother?
Is it because I wanna feel like I have a separate life away from my beautiful little one? Is it because I feel like being a mother isn’t enough, that to be respected by society, I must work AND keep my child and home?
Isn’t that ridiculous? Why do I feel so pushed by this?
I don’t know what I wanna be when I grow up, but I do know this. I may not be a perfect mom, but I am a damn good mom, and I’m enough.
I’m enough when I don’t do anything more.
I’m enough when I don’t have an answer for what type of job I have.
And I’m enough even when I’m complaining about feeling tired and overwhelmed by being a mom, even without having a job.
I do enough.
I am enough.