What do i wanna be when i grow up

I’m sitting here debating the choices: programmer, copywriter, writer, pilot. There are tons of things to be. I just wanna make my own money and have some sort of title to use as validation. Because, even though I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom, I seem to need something else to make me feel like I’m really doing something with my life.

Why is this?

Why is it that when someone asks what I do, I get nervous and try to find an answer for them.

“Well, I was asked to create a website.”

But I haven’t had ANY time to actually do so. My husband works long hours as a restaurant manager, making me the primary parent of our almost one-year old daughter. And creating a website while watching your one-year old daughter is next to impossible.

“Well, I…am a stay-at-home mom.”

“Yeah, but you work too, right?”

“Oh yeah. I’m creating a website.”

Yeah, right.

Why do I need to have some sort of title besides mother?

Is it because I wanna feel like I have a separate life away from my beautiful little one? Is it because I feel like being a mother isn’t enough, that to be respected by society, I must work AND keep my child and home?

Isn’t that ridiculous? Why do I feel so pushed by this?

I don’t know what I wanna be when I grow up, but I do know this. I may not be a perfect mom, but I am a damn good mom, and I’m enough.

I’m enough when I don’t do anything more.

I’m enough when I don’t have an answer for what type of job I have.

And I’m enough even when I’m complaining about feeling tired and overwhelmed by being a mom, even without having a job.

It’s enough.

I do enough.

I am enough.