“How are you?”

Do you want me to answer with the mundane, “I’m good, how are you?” or do you want me to tell you the truth? If you were to ask for the truth, I would tell you the following. I would tell you that I am okay. I’d tell you that I’m hurt, scared, and doing my best to trust that Jesus has this all in his control. It hurts because I care, and there may be no point. Maybe I was right, maybe this person is going to be another one that I like and will never be in my life for good. At this point on this roller coaster, it’s as if Jesus has given me a blind fold to put on and see if I will really trust that he has my life in his hands. I have to reassure myself very frequently that He has is in control, I don’t. He has a huge plan for me and I can’t let distractions get in these plans and lead me somewhere else. So when you ask for the truth about how I am, I will tell you I am okay. I’m just getting a little tired and worn down by trying to act like I’m strong inside, when I’m really not. I try to explain my feelings, and then I feel as if there is no point. I’m okay, thank you for asking, darling. I’m okay because I know there is a bigger plan. I just need to be patient and listen for the voice of the almighty, as I have for a while. He’s whispering, “Jenna, just be patient. You have been this long, I know you can a little bit longer. I have a bigger plan, just trust me.”

j.n.

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