Are You Afraid…Of Love?

“Welcome to the Haunted Mansion where nothing is as it seems. Tonight, you’ll find yourself walking amongst the dead, seeing things that may or may not be there. Questioning your sanity and noticing that you might leave this place a different person. Once inside, you cannot turn back or use flash photography, and your screams will….your screams…will…ugh, I’m sorry. I totally messed that up. That wasn’t as scary as I usually do it. Can I try it again?”

“It’s okay. The entrance is right there, I can just….”

“CAN I PLEASE JUST TRY IT AGAIN. PLEASE.”

“Um, okay.”

“Thank you. Once inside, you cannot turn back or use flash photography….”

The flash of a camera goes off.

“Hey! What did I just say?”

“Oh sorry. I just, I think this place is really well decorated. And I wanted to take a picture so I could model my next Halloween party off of it.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, that’s fine I guess. I, uh, helped out with the decorating actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I added that decapitated head, the blood drizzle down the steps over there. Oh and that ottoman.”

“Wow, that’s great. You really have an eye for this stuff.”

“Thanks.”

“Sorry, I interrupted you. You wanted to try that monologue again?”

“Oh yeah. Thanks, you’re really polite. I almost don’t even want to scare you anymore.”

“Your call.”

“I’ll try it again, just because I’ve practiced it for so long. You should really hear it at its best. Once inside, you cannot turn back or use flash photography…..ha…haha. I’m just thinking about the moment that I said that and you took out your camera and your flash went off. That was like perfect comedic timing.”

“Haha, yeah I mean I didn’t even mean for it to happen honestly. I thought the flash was off.”

“Yeah, figuring out the flash on those things is tricky. Ok I’m going to keep going. Your screams will never be heard and your bodies will never be found. Good luck and remember, don’t look back.”

“Is that the end?”

“Yeah. It was a lot cooler in my head. I don’t know. I think that last body twist I did was weird maybe?”

“No, it was cool, it’s just…”

“What?”

“I mean, I don’t know anything about the horror entertainment industry, but the monologue honestly seems a little long.”

“Long?”

“Yeah, like you’re rambling on about how scared we’re going to be and how no one’s going to find our bodies. And that’s great and all but, it’s like a never-ending drumroll. You’re hyping it up so much that I don’t really believe you at a certain point. What’s scary is how long you’ve been talking.”

“Hahaha. That’s funny.”

“Again, that’s totally just my opinion. You don’t have to listen to me.”

“No, no. I’m glad you said that. I mean, now that you say that, I see it. I think if we said something like, I don’t know, ‘Elena will find you’ and just left it at that, it would be more effective.”

“That’s amazing! Yes. ‘Elena will find you’ is so creepy. Raises more questions than answers. Who’s Elena? How will she find me? Is she in there? But we don’t have time to ask or wonder and then before we know it we’re being pushed into this scary black void. That’s perfect.”

“Thanks! That was just off the top of my head. I think I could come up with something better.”

A beat.

“I mean, I don’t have to come up with it now. I’ll think about more stuff later.”

“Good.”

“I’m Evan by the way.”

“Sarah.”

“Nice to meet you Sarah.”

“You too. So… I think I’m going to go in now. Just because I paid for the tickets and I want to see what’s inside. Parking expires in a couple hours…”

“Yeah! No, of course. Go in. Have fun!”

“Thanks! And maybe I’ll see you when I get out?”

Sarah starts to walk in.

“That’s if you make it out alive blahhh.”

“Haha…nice one. Is that a yes..or?”

“That is a yes.”