4 Things I Learned While Househunting after Military Retirement

Jen McDonald
Aug 24, 2017 · 3 min read

I have commitment issues.

I was surprised by how hard it was for me to make the decision to pull the trigger on home buying after my husband’s retirement from the military. After viewing dozens of homes, we went back and viewed a few houses not once, but several times. I had to remind myself which one had the to-die-for kitchen but too-small backyard and which one had the empty lot across the street. (You think you won’t forget, but you will.) And even when we narrowed it down to our final two, I had a very hard time just saying yes to the house. It seemed so very…final.

Here’s the thing: as retirement approaches, everyone talks to you about your Forever Home. They say well-meaning things like,

Won’t it be wonderful to be in your Forever Home?

I bet you just can’t wait to settle down Forever!

*Gulp* Hearing it in those terms is terrifying to someone who’s been a nomad for the better part of 30 years. In the past decade alone, we’ve lived in seven different houses while moving with the military. I’ve become accustomed to overlooking weird quirks of homes or knowing any issue we had with the house, neighbors, etc. would be short-lived. So yes, while it’s wonderful to think of settling down, it’s also…not. When my husband reminded me that we may choose to move on again in a few years if we want, it took some of the pressure off the home buying decision.

It’s a little scary.

We’ve lived in military housing for a good long time now, actually almost 20 years. Regardless of where it’s located, this ultimate in gated communities — base housing — has a certain familiarity for us.

I know that life. Needing to keep my ID card handy to drive back onto base to my house after a shopping jaunt, living 5 minutes from the commissary, exchange, or base pool — that’s all been our norm. And while it’s wonderful to have some privacy and get out of the fishbowl, it’s also a bit strange. We’ll get there, but for now it still feels a little klunky.

Referrals are important.

If you’re home buying after retirement, I’d highly highly recommend you ask friends for a referral to a Realtor. I’m going to give you a caveat here. We had people coming out of the woodwork who ‘knew a Realtor’ in our area. That’s not what I mean. We ended up going with an agent a friend had recently used to buy a home. He specializes in military moves, works by referral only, and we came to find out another acquaintance had also personally used his services.

He was a dream to work with, went to bat for us several times with the home seller’s agent, and helped us more than we could have anticipated as far as knowing local builders (good ones and which ones to steer away from), what was going on with specific neighborhood future developments, and helping us find exactly what we were looking for.

You learn to compromise.

Though I’d pinned all the Joanna Gaines-esque white farm kitchens, there were some non-negotiables we had when looking for a home, and kitchen cabinet color simply didn’t make that cut, since that’s something that could be updated or changed later. For us, it was location, lot size, proximity to neighbors, and features that would be either impossible or difficult to change later like bedroom and closet sizes. You’ll have your own list. Just make sure you’re not making purely cosmetic decisions when it comes to your forever home (no, I did not just say that!).

Whether you’re coming up to retirement or already in the throes of it like we are, here’s to a happy transition! I’d love to hear your home buying experience after retirement or military separation.

For more home buying help, I recommend MilitaryByOwner’s free series of home buying ebooks, especially for military families!


Originally published at jenmcdonald.net.

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Jen McDonald

Written by

Finding light in the everyday. Author and Editor. Host of Milspouse Matters podcast. Military spouse and military mom. Runs for carbs. https://jenmcdonald.net/

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