Lovers Living in a Dangerous Time

Dear Lovers of True Love,

I recently did a Love Map for a couple still very much in the honeymoon phase of their new love connection. I was delighted by the number of significant planetary aspects that show the strong karmic connection between the two.

Beyond the past lives they’ve shared, their relationship chart shows a love, a strength, and a passion in their purpose to support each other in their Life Plan — as individuals and as a couple.

Will they make it long-term? They might. True Love is built on the choices we make every day. If this couple is consciously choosing to love and nurture themselves first, so they can love each other well, there is hope.

However, in a world of dangerous distractions, some partners might be unable to stay awake and aware enough to engage in the love-work necessary to take their relationship to the height and depth of a Sacred Romance.

At one point in my life, I’d have been embarrassed to share this information with you (having five planets in Libra and all, the archetype of Master(y) in Relationships), but for most of my life I failed in the category of sustaining and nurturing love in a romantic relationship — sometimes epically. Call it a big learning curve.

From the time I was a young girl, I longed for True Love. At 11, I clearly remember the moment I was sitting on my bed, clutching a teen romance novel to my heart with such a deep longing to experience this Love that I prayed to the God of my understanding to send me the One.

And while I was waiting, I consumed romantic fiction, TV and film each day like they were breakfast, lunch and dinner, poor substitutes for the banquet that True Love is.

But I was 11. How was I to know?

From those steamy pages and dreamy scenes, I developed a skewed, 
adolescent concept of love, which I maintained through most of my adulthood. There was a wide gap between what my vision of True Love was and what the Universe was serving up.

And in the space of that gap, I was continually shown where I was missing the mark — twenty years of marriage, two divorces, a couple of relationships in-between.

As hard as the breaking down of those relationships were, what was breaking open inside of me was perfect in that I was called to an inner space (aka my heart) which knew the kind of Love I was seeking.

But I had to prepare the ground to seed that type of Love. We all do.

And so after a particularly challenging relationship, I surrendered and took one year in which the only person I would be romancing was me.

During this New Moon in Libra may we remember the best way for us to develop an intimate relationship with a beloved partner is to develop that intimacy with our inner beloved first.

I knew at this point that no single person was going to give me what I needed unless I gave it to myself first, nor could I love someone and call it True Love unless I had an understanding of what that even meant.

One year became two years. Creating a real relationship with myself (outside of relationship with another) was far more challenging and intense than I thought it could possibly be.

Alongside working with counsellors, attending weekend retreats and reading books on love, I looked at my own Love Map, calling on my Gemini Rising to become the Student and the Witness to my relationship history, starting with the discovery of the unhealthy, sometimes destructive, programs around love that I formed as a child and ran rampant as an adult.

I called on the archetypal energy of the Truth-teller of my Sagittarius Descendant (the astrological aspect that shows us what our intention is in intimate relationships) to see what veils I needed to drop and what roles I needed to retire.

I had some profound realizations about how much I embodied the Libra archetypes of the Chameleon and the Performer in my relationships.

As it turned out, I barely knew my True Self, heavily covered She was under blankets of fear of being alone and feeling unworthy, of being rejected and abandoned, and of speaking the words “NO MORE” to those parts of me that knew the Truth of my former relationships but accepted the lies.

During this New Moon in Libra may we remember a love that asks us to change so we can be loved is not so loving after all.

During the process I had to confront my own shame in my part in my failed relationships. I had never seriously considered it to be Love’s work to know what my values were (or my partners’) or how I wanted to love and be loved in return.

Where I once passionately swore up and down I was the Innocent and the Victim, I eventually came to a place where I saw how I co-created the dynamics of each relationship.

Every man I had partnered up with I now considered my teacher and most of the experiences we had shared as blessings in the learning opportunities we’d created for each other (I say MOST as I’m a work in progress around forgiveness and self-forgiveness).

One of the biggest gifts, however, I received during my much needed time-out was the relationship I developed with a Wiser Source who showed me that as much as I talked and prayed and chanted and workshopped and wrote and read about Love, I could just hand over my longing to be in a sacred relationship to this Greater Beloved who would fulfill all my soul needs — known and unknown.

I learned that I don’t need to chase Love because Love is all around and in terms of a relationship with a man, he would find me when the Divine Timing was right. And so, of course, I stopped chasing long enough for Love to find me in the form of a real human being who eventually and literally walked right through my front door.

So Lovers of True Love, what are your relationships showing you right now?

No matter how you categorize a relationship, each one can become a teaching tool for you to understand and appreciate the lessons that your soul desires to learn.

At times, relationships will reveal your vulnerabilities and insecurities, or even your need for attention, approval, and acceptance. They can also identify where you may be stuck in a rut, or where you need love, peace, healing, or joy in your life.

So in the New Moon energy for the next 48 hours (starting on October 19, 3:11 pm EST), but really you can do this any time you feel the call, I invite you to immerse yourself in some Libra Love and find some time to connect with your heart — your inner sanctuary — to tap into the higher wisdom that will lovingly guide you in how to relationship with yourself and your loved ones with greater compassion, joy, wisdom and intimacy.

Love will find a way to give you what your Higher Self is calling for.

In the meantime, may I suggest you stand in line at the lush banquet that True Love is and refuse to take anymore crumbs off that cold, hard floor.

Sending you all my Libra Love (times 5),

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