Twenty something crisis

They grow up so fast

You graduated. You moved home with mom and dad. You got a job, signed a lease, bought a cat, named him Potato and settled.

Psych! The company you work for is going under after you have been there for 2 years and it is more soul crushing than dropping your cupcake on the way to your first bite. So, what the hell do you do now?

Consult with some humans. They say tag lines like “what are you passionate about, what do you want to do, what can you see yourself doing?”. I started off with a degree in Ceramics and switched to Digital Science — I don’t know. I tell them I have small interests in many topics and need a “blob job” meaning I can have multiple roles just like a fat baby. “Start ups!” they shout with enthusiasm. I research some companies and they are looking for magical beings that have all the knowledge in their think brains. I possess some magic but not enough. “Learn the magic!” they shout. I slowly am, but what drives the direction of learning? A passion? Which I lack… remember?

So figure it out! It is not an overnight epiphany or a drunk realization.

It’s work. It’s a constant discovery of how to make a difference that matters to you.

I joined MeetUp for the nerd talks (and pizza), I attend conferences, I am reading the books. It is a work in progress and I have to keep reminding myself to have patience. Because when you look around and compare your penguin print pajama wearing self to the twenty something that started an amazing company, it can squelch the confidence you have.

Even though I freak out once a month or more, finding a path is exciting. Having a passion and following it is boring — psshhh. I think that is what they call ‘normal’ people. So until I figure it out, finding a great company with a great culture is my number one goal. The job title can come later.