Here’s a Quick Negativity Test

You can be a person steeped in negativity and not realize it.
I’ve sat in conversations with people who bitched, blamed, and criticized themselves and others. Yet if you were to call out the negativity, they would sincerely be shocked and appalled.
I know. I’ve been there.
Years ago the subject of being negative came up in a family outing. I said that I wasn’t negative. And if my memory is correct, my adult daughter’s reaction was to choke on her drink.
Really, Mom? You’re the MOST negative.
So I tested myself — with a rubber band.
The trick is to catch yourself at the moment, otherwise it goes unnoticed.
I picked up a wide rubber band that held a large pile of mail. I put it on my wrist like a bracelet.
The plan was to make an ink mark on the rubber band each time I was negative, which includes negative sarcasm.
Within under an hour I had many ink marks. So I wasn’t happy that, indeed, I was a negative person.
I mean who wants that label?
So the next step was to try to understand why. What was I griping about? Why was I sarcastic so often?
The answer, for me, was that I was coping. Making negative and sarcastic remarks became a cushion from suffering.
Now that sounds dramatic until you understand what suffering is.
We think suffering is synonymous with torture or extreme pain.
But most people suffer silently every day from unhappiness. Chronic suffering. Chronic unhappiness.
Unhappiness isn’t a small thing. Over time it’s corrosive.
Yet unhappiness is a state of mind. And that’s good news because you can change your mind.
If I can do it, if millions have done it — so can you. You’re not special in that way.
You’re not alone in your silent suffering.
What I was doing when I constantly made negative statements is that I was saying, in my own way, I’m better than this. I can do better.
It was a passive way to make a social statement about wanting to be better.
Now, I had no idea I was doing that until I recognized my habit and asked Why?
Do you want to understand if you’re negative? Try the rubber band test. Changing your state of mind starts with awareness. Then you can take the next step to make some meaningful changes.
That’s how you choose to be happy.
