Evening Everyone,
I thought, I would tell you about the time, My ex partner moved me, and my kids from our stability, that I had establish as a woman, a single mom of 5, being in a good profession I had worked hard to achieve, and was financially secure before I met him, and the kids where happy, at least the 3 that were still home, as he manage to have two of my boys leave, because they couldn’t stand him, and his rules. They saw how he was treating me and couldn’t take it. I was just to blind to see it. So here I was, lived in Ontario Canada for all my life, my family, my friends, and work was there, then we decided to move 1145 miles away to New Brunswick. First night there, in a new area, knowing no one, he leaves us at a motel, as the place he said he had set for us was not ready, for us to move in, so we spent 4 days at a Hotel, and get this, I paid for it all, Hotel, food, Gas and Rent. He was draining my bank account. First night in New Brunswick, he comes back to the hotel room just to let me know, how his Ex Wife already knew he was in Town, and wanted to talk to him, then I find out, he smoked pot, as he is at the hotel high as a kite. I never did drugs, I didn’t smoke, I would have a one cooler or one glass of wine 4 or 5 times a year. Yes, I was once accused, of being like the Walton’s, Boring. I didn’t see how being intoxicated in anyway was the way to have fun, or a way to deal with my problems. But there I am, 1145 miles away from friends and family, feeling I have made the biggest mistake of my life. After we moved into our house, things seemed to mellow out. You need to know, and I am sure many of your will understand, with everything I had gone through, I suffered from anxiety, Panic attacks and PTSD, with that said, I had issues being around a lot of people, especially people I didn’t know, and now. His good friend was having a fundraiser, and he wanted me to go and wanted me to pay $100, as a donation and the door fees for both of us, plus any drinks he may have. It upset me, because why was I paying for everything, when he had money to do it himself, it was his friend, and I figure maybe it was best if I stayed back, because I wasn’t ready to meet everyone, all at once at that, when I was trying to settle into a new home, new town, New Province and new way of life, as my partner was not whom I had known for the past year. He came home that night and was angry I didn’t have supper ready for him, it was 7, and we ate at 5, as it is what he always wanted, it was his rule actually, and that is when it started. I had told him that morning to let me know if he would be home for supper, because he had been in a mood for a couple of days, I believe he was bipolar, but he didn’t believe in mental issues, he believed it to be a coward way to get out of dealing with life. With that said I wasn’t sure if he would come home, or just go to the party, he never texted me, or called, not anything to tell me if he would be home. He shows up demanding for supper, and I looked at him and got angry, because how dare he come to the house and demand me, to jump because he said so. He then tells me, that he was going to just leave me, he didn’t need this crap in his life, and got up and left, how nice was that. Here we are moved in a town he shared 20 some years with his ex wife, he had a life here, and I didn’t, all I had was him and my kids. Here I had moved my kids away from all they knew, and I had put so much money in this move, and now just like that he left us, there I am scared confused and hurt. Didn’t sleep a wink that night and went to his shop, to talk with him, and as a fool pleaded for him to come home, and ask him not to do this, but he knew all along that I would get on my knees and beg him to forgive me, and that is the day, he had control over me, and he was now in control of my life because I let him and I was at his mercy, and you can say our relationship, was not healthy from that day on, I don’t know how many times after that day, he would give me an ultimatum, or he would leave us, he had all the control and he had everyone under his spell, and he still does, and now with my stories, it will all come out, the truth will be out there, but from what I have seen and heard he still plays the victim, and have people believing that I made his life hell. He said the same things about his ex wife and his marriage. Everything that he said about us, he said about her and their relationship. Sad to say, many of us now know that he lied, that his ex wife was not the monster he portrayed her to be. If anything, she is to be praise for having endured, 20 years of his mind games, lies and abuse. After the last ultimatum that he gave me, it was made clear, and shown to me, the lies, the deception, the games he played. Most people in that situation would be mad and discourage. I wont lie, I was hurt, discourage and broken, but I picked myself up, a few times, and with the strong support I have in my inner circle, I am stronger then I even knew. I believe in myself, and I am going to be better from that lesson, and that chapter of my life. I have moved on, and l have closed that chapter, and only looking forward. You know why, because I love myself, and I am deserving to be happy and empowered, and in control of my own life. If you look at a good chapter book, there is many chapters in it, before you get to the good parts, and that is the same about life. Just keep that in mind. As I always say, don’t forget to love yourself.