SELF-REFLECTION | PERSONAL GROWTH | MENTAL HEALTH
List 5 People I Can Say Positive Things to Today, Write What It Is, and Go Do It.
Day 24 — Journaling for Self-Reflection and Personal Growth.
As I reflected on this question, I was honestly a bit surprised at myself.
Judging by how flawed we humans are — and yes, that includes me — I often feel frustrated.
How often are solutions to the world’s big problems right under our noses? Creating a better world could be so simple.
🌍 Carpool to reduce CO2 emissions.
🚫 Refrain from eating meat (I am not a vegetarian myself).
🌍 Equip every building roof with solar panels or/and plants.
🤍 Show tolerance for homosexuality, polyamorous lifestyles, and others.
🚫 Just don’t invade foreign countries with armies and start wars. Just don’t.
🚫 Don’t spread drugs. Especially not to children!
🤍 Simply be nice.
The list could be endless.
We are so not infallible!
And I have often experienced how this sometimes makes particularly sensitive people despair when a lack of understanding can even turn into hatred.
I have also had such phases, even though I don’t like to admit it.
But well, today’s contribution should open the thick fog of frustration a little bit and remind us that we humans are not only afflicted with mistakes but also have very wonderful qualities that make us who we are.
1. My Husband
There is really every reason to be grateful to my husband, to appreciate him, respect him, and love him.
In our marriage, we are a team. At the same time, he is the main breadwinner while I am a stay-at-home mom. Yet, I’ve never felt like I owe him anything or had to justify myself.
I think this is worth mentioning, as this is the concern of many women who want to remain independent of a partner — which is understandable!
I don’t feel dependent.
We both have equal access to our joint account and I don’t need to ask if I want to buy anything. Even if it’s something just for me.
When it comes to major purchases, we talk to each other, but that’s mostly out of mutual respect.
Besides, he is the most reliable person I know!
I don’t have to worry about him going to a bar somewhere after work or on the weekends.
He also doesn’t smoke or anything like that.
My husband supports me in my decisions and desires and makes sure I have the freedom to pursue my dreams.
While I am the idealist in our relationship who always wants to continue to aim high, he is the rock that gives us security.
Every major decision since we met has basically been set in motion by me being active. But the final implementation is mainly thanks to him.
I am the dreamer, he makes dreams come true.
2. My Mother in Law Yasmin
Of course, I was nervous when I first flew to Barranquilla to visit my then-boyfriend, now-husband. And of course, I was worried about whether his family would like me.
But Yasmin is just amazing!
From the very first moment, she was just so warm toward me and always did everything she could to make me feel as comfortable as possible.
For a while, I was sick while I was visiting. She took care of me so sweetly, as if she were my mother and not “just” mother-in-law.
She also always gave me good advice. Not only about her son, but about life in general.
She has a good sense of when someone is not feeling well and incredible empathy when it comes to solving interpersonal problems.
Obviously, she has imparted good values to her son, my husband, which made it possible for us to be on the same level as equal partners — considering that machismo is still relatively widespread in South American countries.
Yasmin is one of the most selfless persons I know.
3. My Eldest Son, J.
I often talk about my younger son. And I have dedicated a complete blog post to my daughter, here.
On the other hand, there is hardly anything about J. in my blog.
This is mainly because he does not like to be the center of attention. So I rather show him my affection by, for example, bringing him his favorite chocolate pudding from shopping or cooking for him.
J. is already 20 and lives alone.
He is very intelligent, which was confirmed during his kindergarten time. However, as far as I can tell, it is difficult for him to understand and accept the irrational emotions of his fellow human beings.
However, the fact that he is honestly trying is a credit to him in any case.
J. can also be very disciplined, provided that he cares about something.
For example, on the European server of the MMORPG Maple Story 2 at the time, he was second on the leaderboard! And persistently trying to get first place. However, the servers were then shut down.
He also trains very ambitiously.
1–2 years ago, J. was underweight. Since then, he has gained about 25 kg in muscle mass.
J. is a handsome young man. I am not sure if the fact that he knows this is a curse or a blessing. 😄
I find very nice how he is with his younger brother.
Brian (my youngest with Down syndrome) always behaves very sincerely and openly toward others. I think this basic honesty and authenticity is exactly what a person like J. needs to be able to deal with.
4. My Friend From Italy, Paolo
When I found my way back into the MMORPG Ragnarok Online a few years ago, I joined a guild that was under Italian leadership.
Paolo was the ambitious yet fatherly leader of that guild and works as a cook outside the game. 👨🍳
4 times a week we gathered for the guild wars, which were always top-organized thanks to him.
Paolo was success-oriented.
So much so that he was sometimes annoyed by comments such as “It’s just a game, the main thing is to have fun!”.
His response?
“Nobody has fun losing. When we compete, we do so to win.”
Indeed, the guild wars were serious business! But that’s exactly what also ensured that our hearts and souls were in it.
The attitude of wanting to win at all costs regularly caused racing hearts during the final minutes.
Apart from the guild wars, however, Paolo was usually pretty lazy.
For hours, his character would just sit in town, and we’d talk or just be semi-AFK.
He used to call me my daughter, which is a little funny since he’s actually younger than me.
On the other hand, he would still be more reasonable, which would sometimes show when we talked about things outside the game.
Paolo is always ready to listen and give “fatherly advice” even today.
5. My Mom
Best for last, right?
I mean, my mom is my mom.
She, like all people, is not infallible, but she is my mom.
She doesn’t act as motherly as my mother-in-law, Yasmin.
She doesn’t put as much effort into getting me on “the right track” as Paolo would.
She is nowhere near as disciplined as my son J.
But when it came down to it, I always could count on her.
And even if that wasn’t the case, she'd still be my mom.
My mom is a wonderfully open person who taught us kids good values.
She told us that gender, sexuality, background, or religion didn’t matter because everyone is equal.
She taught us to respect life. Yes, she is pro-life and atheist at the same time. So her motives are not at all guided by words from the Bible but are in line with her own humanistic convictions.
She stood by me when my youngest child, Brian, was born.
And she took care of the baby for 3 weeks here in Germany when I flew with a heavy heart to Barranquilla to marry his father. ✈️
Should at this point the question arise, why I flew at all: I will tell more about this in my series “Welcome Life 2.0 — My Son and Down Syndrome”.
My mom — how could she not get a well-deserved spot on today’s list?
This was the 24th entry in the 30-Day Journal for Self-Reflection and Personal Growth — a challenge by Dr. Tracy Davis. Thanks for the idea and the invitation for everyone to join in!
Find all my other entries in the 30-Day Journal for Self-Reflection and Personal Growth:
