What Does it Mean to be a Woman? Or a Man?

For me, articles like this usually come out of a combination of events. The most recent one was an unfortunate altercation on Facebook about transgender rights. I should probably know better, but the argument was actually the culmination of a thought process that started almost a year ago, so maybe it was just time for it to boil over.

The other event was a conference I once attended with a group of people that included a transgender woman. Although she is accepted by the group, I was told she is often depressed because she is not fully accepted by most people in her life. A person concerned for her told me she has asked for help with makeup and fashion, but then she doesn’t follow the advice. And the biggest barrier, according to the concerned person, was really one of basic hygiene. I agreed it probably was. Then the person said, “I think anybody transitioning to a woman should spend a year living as a woman first.”

I do want to make it clear that the statement was made in love. It was an attempt to help. However, it took me a night to digest the implications of it.

What does it actually mean to live as a woman? And does that mean any woman contemplating transition to a man should live as a man for year? What does that look like? And what, dear Lord, does that mean for non-binary people?