Oh, hello, fear

Oh, hello fear, how I would love to say that it’s so nice to see you, that you’re a welcome guest, a loving friend, someone I’ll love until the end.

You are no stranger. Not even in the slightest. From as long as I could speak, and likely even before then, you’ve been there. A loyal acquaintance, I’d like to say. Someone who knows how to make your way to my mind and my heart, promising me you’ll stay.

I used to spend so many weary days and nights, fighting you with every inch of my fiber. “Won’t you just leave?!” Id scream, “you can’t just take over when you want, you’re not allowed to destroy me!”

But I’d be left exhausted defeated. Tired and worn down, you’d sit in your corner and smile that smile. “Not funny,” I’d scream. But I knew you’d be there for a while.

So instead of fighting you, instead of all of my efforts going in vain, I finally decided to talk to you in a rational matter.

“Who are you? And why are you here?” I begun. “You’ve wrecked so much havoc and terror, always causing me to run.”

And then when your smile began to cease, and the tears began to fill your eyes, I realized all those truths you’d always whispered to me, were ultimately just lies.

It wasn’t your intention to break me, to always cause me to run, you simply just wanted to protect me from all the harm that life can lunge.

“Oh, fear,” I sighed with a sympathetic plea. “You’ve overreacted for much too long, you were too much, too heavy and strong.”

I know you were just doing your best to keep me safe, and I know you’ll forever be around, you have no other place to go. But we’re going to do things differently now, this you must know.

You can scream and you can yell, you can tell me no and to run, you can overtake my mind and overwhelm my heart, but I’m not going to always listen to you, please understand. I know you’ve done the best you can, but I need to know that I can stand.

Stand on my own without your lingering voice. Committing to always choosing love over fear as if I had no other choice.

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