7 Rules for Life: Trust and the Double Oxer
Riding horses over fences can be an incredibly liberating and exciting experience. I know because I have been riding horses over fences for about 23 years.
Folks often ask what is involved in learning to ride over fences. What are the rules? How do you practice? Does your horse need to practice, too?
To answer these questions, as well as provide some additional insights, I am going to provide seven reasons why riding horses over fences is a lot like getting through difficult periods in life.
1. Do Not Look at the Fence
You have heard it before: The longer you stare at something unpleasant, the scarier it becomes.
You want to “site” the jump and then let it go. Know where the jump is on the course and, in your head, calculate how many of your horses strides you will need to make a smooth departure. Once you have done this, look beyond the jump. Look over the jump. Look at the sky, if you must, but do not look down at the jump.
There is a rule in riding: You will land where you look. If you are constantly looking down and staring at a fence, your anxiety will increase. Your horse will sense your hesitation. You will end up on the ground.
2. Keep Your Heels Down
When we get excited (either because of something great or something terrifying), we might be tempted to move in forward motion, leaning into the fear, to the euphoria, to whatever has grabbed our attention in that moment.
The number one rule of riding is to keep your heels down. Bringing your heels down prevents forward momentum from getting the best of you. It keeps your body balanced in the saddle and helps you stay quiet in the saddle over fences.
If you pop up on your toes (as some riders do over jumps), you are more likely to fall forward over the horse and less likely to recover from imbalance over the fence. At the very least, riding on your toes will quickly exhaust you and make for a frustrating ride.
3. Wait for the Jump
As you ride to the jump, remember to listen to your horse, feel their stride and make adjustments if they feel like they are going to fast or too slow. Keep low in your seat and heels. And wait.
The jump is coming. You can see it. So can your horse. If you anticipate the jump too soon, you may find yourself flying up and over the front of your horse. You may lose your balance if your horse is not prepared to take the jumping stride you are asking him to take.
It is easy to focus so much on an obstacle that we get ahead of ourselves in our plan to overcome it. Instead, we need to see the obstacle, prepare for the challenge, and then wait until the right time to implement our plan. Rushing to fix a problem too early might exasperate the issue and create more problems down the line.
4. Give Rein without Losing Control
As you approach the fence, you want to keep contact with the horse. You want him to know you are there and that you are going to guide him. Once the horse takes that jumping stride, you must release that tension so that the horse can stretch and crest his neck to make a natural departure and landing.
Keeping too much tension on the horse’s mouth will result in “catching” him in the mouth; a mistake that might result in an angry horse and a fight to stay on.
There are times in life when we maintain a death-grip on everything we think we can possibly control: our emotions, possessions, relationships, jobs, life itself. Instead of staying white-knuckled, try giving a little. Don’t through away the reins, but loosen your grip. If things start to feel out of control, squeeze a little and, again, let go. You might find that more will work out in your favor if you are willing to give up just a little control.
5. Keep a Balanced Seat
A well-trained horse will adjust and shift his own balance in accordance with that of the rider. This does not excuse an unbalanced seat.
Throughout the ride, from the approach to the collection after landing, the rider must maintain quiet hands, balance from side to side, and balance from front to back. This is difficult to learn at first, as weight and movement shift considerably during a ride.
If you feel thrown off-balance, come back to your seat. Sit deep in the saddle, keep your heels down, and collect.
Life has a way of tilting and shifting the world around us. Without balance, we can feel as though we are at the mercy of external forces, left with no option but to hold on, ride it out, and hope we don’t fall. But there is another option — find your balance. Come back to yourself and think about what you need to do to regain confidence and courage to stay in the saddle and finish the course.
6. Trust Yourself
A rider who hesitates has already set themselves up for failure. Riders jump over fences, not because it isn’t dangerous, but because they have calculated the risk and have prepared themselves to reduce the risk of injury through hours of practice. The only way to know whether or not they are prepared to successfully overcome an obstacle is to try. Trying with hesitation may result in injury and psychological setbacks. A rider must try with confidence.
You are braver, stronger, more qualified, and more prepared than you realize. Sure, you should endeavor to measure twice and cut once (insert laundry list of similar phrases), but at some point, you have to trust that you have what it takes to get the job done.
7. Trust Your Horse
The rider has all they need: the equipment, the training, the courage. But a rider is nothing without their horse. And a horse is nothing without the will to behave and make decisions according to their own personality. When riding a new horse for the first time, the rider must give up some of their expectations and control in order to get to know the horse. When jumping over fences, a rider must learn the behavior of the horse — do they quicken before a jump, do they jump high, do they need help staying in the line? Instead of forcing every horse to conform to the expectations and will of the rider, the rider must accept the unique personality of the horse and work with the horse, over many years, to form a symbiotic relationship with respect and love.
The ebbs and flows of life can be exhilarating. They can also be terribly painful. But if we are open, we will find that life provides everything we need to overcome challenges and to savor success. Fighting against the universe is a lost cause. There is only so much you can control. And you may find, if you quiet your mind, that those things you cannot control are made beautiful by that very fact. It is the quality of unpredictability that can frighten us and liberate us at the same time.
