The Voices Are Loud Today
The voices are loud today.
“You’re never going to be able to pay all your bills on time like a ‘normal’ person.”
“You don’t have enough discipline to be a full-time freelance writer.”
“You will always have to rely on others to help pay bills or catch you when you fall.”
“You can’t afford your apartment because you aren’t capable of working hard enough to pay for it. You’ll be living in your car again once the pandemic is over.”
“You’ll never have a romantic relationship because it will never be equal — you’ll always need more from them than you can give in return.”
“You won’t live to be old. Might not even see middle age. Probably won’t outlive your parents.”
“You’re a fat, lazy, worthless slob.”
“You will always have the same struggles.”
“You suck at pretty much everything in life.”
“You’re a worthless human being.”
“If you catch COVID-19, you probably deserve to die because your pre-existing conditions are related to your weight, which you should be able to control better.”
“Even IF you’re a halfway decent writer, you don’t deserve to make a living from it.”
“You should go get a real job, even though it won’t be enough to pay your bills.”
“You’re probably going to end up in jail for failing to pay bills, and that might even be best.”
“No matter how hard you try, it will NEVER be good enough.”
The voices are loud today. Not from without, but from within.
