I relate to this on so many levels. My son is almost 19. Things are very hard right now for us right now. I feel like I am back on that field trip. I am going to send you a private note with my email. Would love to keep in touch as I know very few people with a son around the same age who know what this reality is like. This was so perfectly written. I felt every word. Every. One. Wishing us both the peace and strength I know we both need.