I was assigned female at birth. Most people would say I was “female socialized”. That’s not quite true. I did get some of the browbeating and undermining that cis girls frequently get. I did lose some of the confidence I might have had if I had been, specifically, a cis boy who was gender conforming. I tend to think before I talk. I feel uncomfortable cutting people off verbally. I carry with me a fear of being attacked or brutalized by men, to an extent.
Gender Socialization is Real (Complex)
Devon Price

This, and the next two paragraphs, really spoke to me. I’m cis, or at least mostly so, but sometimes I feel like I was so bad at internalizing female gender norms that it doesn’t entirely matter. Between having ADHD and being smarter-than-was-acceptable-for-a-woman in my small town, I could never meet the standards for “being a girl”, and I didn’t think a lot of them made sense anyway, so I rejected them and sort of went with “well, guess my version of girl is like this.

Ten years later, I might have known about nonbinary as an identity before I was solidified as myself and it’d have made sense for me,