Why do We Shame Fantasies?
Is 40 too old for Tyler Seguin? LOL
Walking home from my ultimate birthday present, watching Tyler Seguin and the Dallas Stars play the Colorado Avalanche I realize that I do not care what others think. It is my dream, not theirs.
I often walk back to my place. The city of Denver is beautiful, walking is faster than waiting for a cab or Uber, and why not work off some calories?

It is funny, I grew up in a town with one stoplight and two hockey rinks and it always blows my family’s mind when I come home and walk places. I grew up a mile or so away from my one-block town, but the idea of walking was foreign and unheard of to me before I moved to a city.
I find some irony in the fact that city people walk outside more than country people.

But Back to My Birthday Fantasy:
I have often debated with family and friends about what they consider my unrealistic fantasies about hockey players, my life, my relationship status, you name it. I am uniquely weird. (Why would I want to be like everyone else!)
My birthday fantasy is a hockey player named Tyler Seguin. Ironically, he is younger than all three of my younger brothers, who all played hockey growing up. And when they were in high school, I made a rule that I would never touch anyone in their age bracket. My youngest brother is now married, and the rule is lifted but Tyler Seguin was always the exception to the rule the minute it was made in 2010.
But with all that in mind, I have never seen Tyler play in real life. When you grow up on the East Coast, hockey is always there but if the hockey team is outside of the regional coverage, it is hard to watch them live, on TV, or whatever. When my girlfriend got me tickets for my birthday to see the Dallas Stars versus the Colorado Avalanche I was incredibly excited. In case you haven’t figured it out, one of my passions is hockey.
It truly makes me happy.
One of my favorite smells in the world is the laying of ice in the rink in the fall. When I was young, this always happened around my birthday, and I always felt like it was a present for me.
Tyler Seguin was the exception to my rule. The rule has become a fun fantasy for me over the years. Make fun of it all you want. The rule was made when he was just drafted in 2010 and was playing for the Boston Bruins.
He was cute but right now he is stunning.

He’s grown into his current position.
Let me explain what I mean by his current position. I do not know if it is his brand or the Dallas Star’s branding but marketing-wise, someone is using his abilities to their advantage. Only recently have I started following the Dallas Stars, Tyler Seguin’s Instagram account and other social media feed about the team.
I realized something.
Let me be clear, I am not shaming him.
I am not that person.
If the image of Tyler Seguin as a Dallas Star is what I thought and saw tonight, he plays the part amazingly well. I know this because I am a marketing professional and he’s got me hook, line, and sinker. He’s goofy. He’s charismatic. He is a little off the wall and he knows how to use what this world gave him to excel at life, especially the warm-up ritual. It is like Magic Mike on Ice.
I’m trying to behave myself. The fantasy is simple, If I ever was to meet Tyler Seguin I have an epic one-liner to wow him with. A bet, a one-liner, and he will laugh. Do I think it will wow him? Yes — no doubt in my mind.. (what if?) Some people think there is harm or fault in a certain amount of dreaming big.
Do I think I will ever meet Tyler Seguin?
Probably not. I want to yes, but the timing in life in which you meet someone that’s a pro athlete, celebrity or just a great person is a rare occasion. I think that is what makes life more fun?
Growing up is a trap. It is a trap, people. I’m not kidding. We do not shame kids for their fantasies but somehow as we become an adult, we find ways to give our opinions to others without realizing we could be belittling their dreams. It is why shaming fantasies is so dangerous. You are told to be a kid at heart but if you vocalize your dreams in some sense, you could fall into a category that is not comfortable for the person you are speaking with that can lead to advice that makes 80% of the people happy with your choices. But not necessarily the happiness you need.
But why not strive for something better? Happiness and dreams seem to be the first things we set aside, but the first things we are jealous of when it comes to others. The internet does not make this any better.

That’s why shaming fantasies upsets me. We immortalize athletes like Tyler Seguin, football players, baseball players, soccer players, etc. But these are the people who are living their fantasies. It’s so funny that we envy them for living their fantasies, but we won’t get up out of our own self-imposed boxes. (Ironically in hockey, you can end up in the penalty box for a similar emotion.)
I’m going to be 40 in less than a week and the only thing I can tell you is to Live, Laugh, Love in the Moment.
The past is the past and the future you can’t control.
Don’t deny yourself your dreams and confidently knowing you can obtain them.
Well for one thing. Just try.
I wanted to chirp Tyler at the game but games are getting a little more politically correct than I like. I had to get clever.
Ever hear a grandma in the south tell you — —
Bless your heart,
Ever hear a New Englander says — — -
Whatever.
And as I told my girlfriend that day, I believe all of those to equal the same thing.
And in Canada, it is figured out. (insert accent)
I am not sure if 91 heard me in the second period when he woofed a scoring attempt. I had !@#$%^&* to say about it but I just said. “91 figure it out.” (add Canadian accent) He tried, he got chirped, and life went on.
And I thought about it.
I’m guessing, not speaking for any athlete that fans booing, cheering, chirping their team every game is a part of their day. Athletes get over it. It would be the fear I saw in the third period when Tyler took a shot off his leg which made me realize how human all of us are.
Isn’t a pro athlete’s biggest fear, getting hurt? They do not want to get hurt. It’s the same fear that keeps us in the safety of our box that we get stuck in daily.
I have taken a puck to the leg. This is not pretty even with pads on. I knew exactly how he felt for those moments. Stay in the play, it doesn’t hurt, crap(insert another word), move the puck out of the zone so I can get to the bench.
I thought about all the things I’ve learned tonight, last week, last year, and from everyone around me and getting hurt sucks universally.
You can’t live a life without it. You can’t live a life without regret.
Do what you love.
Do something that scares you.
Do make your fantasy a reality.
I tried my hardest not to get hurt and what I learned is you’re going to get hurt. You can’t control if you’re gonna get hurt. If you love, live, and laugh hard, getting hurt is inevitable.
What defines you is just the same thing that attracts me to Tyler Seguin during warm-ups. There are traditions, rituals, and superstitions that make the warm-up drills what they are. I am not unaware of this but…
Tyler the marketing is lovely, I love every bit of it. The erotic stretching, the boyish naivety as you skate around, and the no helmet play to the same outcome no matter if the game is home or away. I don’t know if that’s what he’s trying to do but Thank You.
I respect it.
We forget that every day a game is played they have a 50/50 chance to win or to lose. Every time. Every choice works this way. Athletes know failure and adversity better than anyone and persevere to play for us every day. When you live with the reality of this, you become humbled by it, and you realize it’s okay to lose. Billionaires give the same advice about failing and we ignore it.
I know that I learn from failure and my flaws all the time. Failure is not a bad thing. Failure teaches us something if we want to listen. I’ve had a lot of bumps, bruises, and scars. I have a lot more coming I am sure. I’m not going to giving up on any of my fantasies just because it is hard.
Some fantasies for a woman my age might be:
1. Fit in my skinny jeans. (I am in my skinny jeans from high school.)
2. Ice cream and a Real Housewives marathon without screaming kids.
3. The family vacation on the bucket list.
I appreciate and respect these fantasies as well because everyone has very different needs.
My fantasies look very different.
1. Wowing Tyler Seguin with a pick-up line.
2. Move abroad to learn another culture. It starts in Feb 2020.
3. Live, Laugh, Love In the Moment.
And to this day I always daydream for something bigger. I mean, why the hell not. Life is too short to worry about those little moments. Being afraid of falling over in front of a crowd. Embarrassing yourself by telling a bad joke. Worrying about traffic or airline travel.
I am scared of the ocean but love the ocean, whales, and turtles and are heading there when I am abroad. I love the mountains but I am scared of heights and I ski often. I have fears and doubts but I refuse to let them hold me back.
Happy birthday to me, for remembering that the social norm is a creation that has nothing to do with your personal happiness. Ultimately your dreams, passions, and choices can create your personal happiness- but no outside social norms can.
Your fantasies should grow every day and should never be muted.
Thank you, Liz, for my birthday present.