My brother lies in a hospital bed, unconscious, unaware of the drama that surrounds him. He lies so still, so silent; only the whoosh of the respirator and beeps of the monitors breaking the silence. He is here and yet, he is not. I believe he hovers somewhere between life and death, this world and the next. Waiting, as we pray for a miracle, and God ponders his fate.
God, I beg you, please return him to me! I am not ready to lose him yet. I have questions to ask him, things to tell him, more love to show him. I can be a better sister, just give me that chance.
How can I say goodbye to someone I’ve loved all my life? Even when we were children and he made me scream or cry, he made me laugh more; wild hysterical laughter, giddy nonstop giggles, that made the grandmother raising us yell at us to “settle down”.
I want to laugh with him again, to reminisce about growing up together, remember the crazy stories and people from our past. I need him to be my memory for things I have forgotten.
He’s not a perfect person, but he’s good — compassionate and kind, and generous to a fault. He doesn’t have much, but he’s always willing to share and help someone else. Who can help him now?
The doctors and nurses have done their best, and I appreciate their efforts; but still he balances on a precipice, waiting in eery stillness with life on one side and eternity on the other.
I am not ready to say goodbye ,but are we ever ? Can I be brave enough to let him go if he will suffer too much to stay? He has faith in God, and he trusts me to make the right decision. I want a miracle, for him to awaken and be okay, but I will try to accept with grace God’s ultimate decision.
If you are comfortable with prayer, please pray for my brother.
Treasure your loved ones, talk with them often, and spend time together. In a blink of an eye tragedy can strike, and then it is too late.