How To Tell A True Anxiety Story
My heart is pounding fast… My body is numb… Everything is blurry… I can’t breathe… Am I going to die? Oh wait, this is just my anxiety acting up again…
Anxiety is probably the most difficult thing that I had ever experienced in my life so far. It is the Monster that control my thoughts and the choices that I make. He makes the possible, seems impossible. He makes me feel abnormal when comparing myself to others. He drives me insane to the point that I can’t control myself. He makes me terrified of the future. He makes it hard for me to know what is right, and what is wrong.
When I tried to figure out what causes my anxiety, I notice that it was my ADHD. Because of ADHD, it is so hard for me to do well in school and for me to stay organized. ADHD makes it hard for me to function like a normal person would. When I’m not doing well in school and not being organized, that’s the cue for the Monster to start doing his job. My back and my shoulders starts to tingle and go numb for a bit. Slowly my breathing rhythm starts to increase. My body starts to tremble as if someone was blowing cold air on me. My head pressure starts to intensify while I try to catch my breath. Everything happens all at once, in a couple of minutes.
Sometimes I wonder why this is happening to me and why do I have to go through this. Other times, I’m okay with it. I look at this as a way for me to learn more about myself and how to take better care of myself. I believe that when I overcome this, I will be a stronger person at the end.