In the stillness of the night is where you’ll find the answer…
One of my best friends from high school got married this past weekend, and I had the honor of being a bridesmaid in her wedding. I left my current city Friday evening at around 6 o’clock and drove about an hour and a half to join her and her fiancé for the wedding rehearsal dinner that evening. Dinner with her closest family and friends was nice and I got to meet a lot of new people. After dinner, we drove out to her parents house on family land that has been in the family for a couple generations. When I say the property is beautiful is an understatement. It is surrounded by large pine trees native to the local area. As we drove down the driveway I was overcome with a feeling of peace and serenity, something I have been missing in all the noises and busyness of big city living.
That night everyone gathered around on the front porch like old friends. Sitting on the porch drinking, listening to music and talking about life is what I have been missing. There are no lights out there, so we were blessed to see a sky full of twinkling stars and the crickets and cows put on a good show too. It was the simplicity and slower pace that made the night so wholesome and memorable. It was one of those nights I’ll always remember. It didn’t cost a dime, but the memory was priceless. The night reminded me of my own home town and my friends and family back home. A million memories came back to life in my mind as i sat back in the rocking chair and just allowed myself to take it all in. I realized that everything I was running from was exactly what I needed. In the quiet of the night, is when I have always found the answers to my deepest questions. I have never had to probe, or dig to find anything unlike the things that I think I need, but are actually toxic and harmful for me. When I am being me — My unique and truest self is when the reassurance and inner knowing always found me when I was ready to receive it.
I don’t regret leaving my hometown and moving to a new city. I don’t regret venturing off and making my own way. I don’t regret any of my decisions, because every experience has helped shaped me into the person I am today. It has helped me face my fears, and dive into my deepest insecurities. It has helped me take risks and step out of my comfort zone. It has helped me meet new people and broaden my perspective of life and how i fit in. It has helped me realize why I wanted to leave my hometown in the first place, and why I’ll make my way back there in the end. There are a million reasons why people leave their home, family and friends and everything they’ve ever known. Some people discover the reason right away or after years of running, and some people never really know what they want and why they want what they do. But it’s the best feeling to really truly, genuinely want to move back home. That Is my own reality at least. Without stipulations or denial and guilt. It’s the genuine need to want to buy some land, build a house, and plant your roots in the same ground that your parents and grandparents did.