On being a good friend:
- There are so many ways to be a good friend, so many ways to describe it, and so many teeny tiny complex aspects, but it all comes down to this: you make each other better. And sometimes it’s not always mutual, but let’s just say it is right now. You inspire each other, teach each other, reprimand each other, remind each other why you are here on this earth. You challenge them EVERY DAMN DAY to do better, and you are not afraid to call them out on stuff — because when they’re true friends, they won’t hate you for it.
- You also can’t be the only one talking. You have to listen to be a good friend. In doing that, you show that you value their opinion. You value their input, and you may not agree, but you trust them. And when they’re not reprimanding you, maybe they’re just venting, you listen. You offer cues that you hear them, you get them, and you are willing to give up your time just to hear them out. It’s a 2 way street, in the sense that I always thought people wanted to hear input. Sometimes they just want to know they are heard, and that’s what you do when you listen.
- Be selfless, not selfish. You have to realize that you are not each other’s only friends! You have to respect their time, their schedule, and their livelihood. Hey, if you feel they’re not giving you enough time, well then decide if they’re worth it. Because sometimes you get some fair-weather friends, but they might still be worth it. But anyway, you have to let them live their lives, even if you’re scared of losing them. Because like I said, you WON’T if they are your true friends.
- Communicate openly. This is so important. Learn proper communication skills. How to confront people, how to have adult discussions, and also — understand that people will be upset and frustrated and feel negative, so sometimes you might just need to let them be that way for a bit. But learn to listen.
- Try to understand them no matter how hard it is. Try to see things from their point of view for just a SECOND. What if you were in their shoes? Don’t even try to compare their situation to something like yours, just for a second. Really dig deep, ask them to explain. I mean this all in terms of dealing with conflict, not with opinions of politics or religion or things like that.
- Be vulnerable. You have to let someone in to be true friends. That’s pretty obvious, but really difficult to do. And when I say be vulnerable, I don’t mean to be weak and insecure — I mean to be strong, but be able to admit that you can be wrong, you can mess up. It’s humility. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. And when you mess up, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Stand up for your friends when you need to. Some of your friends might not like your other friends, but you have to stand up for them sometimes. You can always let them voice an opinion, but you have to be firm in the fact that you are friends with both parties.
- Show them love!! Show them that you care about them and that you think about them. Even the smallest things make a difference, such as a friend sending you a song they think you’d like. In any sort of relationship, you do have to be invested and show that you care!
Some of these things are really just how to be a GOOD PERSON!! And I’ve been thinking about this all day and it’s 1am so I need sleep, but these are my thoughts so far.