1st paragraph: People who are parents, people with just one job that has long hours, people who work and go to school, or go to school and are in athletic programs, people who volunteer are all examples of people who are all putting in more than the standard 40–50 hour work week and are tired/stressed, but they suck it up because that is life. I have worked up to 70+ hour work weeks before and still found time to take my dog for a walk and engage in a healthy lifestyle. Was I tired and stressed? Yes, but I still found the courage and strength to pull myself together each day and go to work and take care of myself and those around me. So Talia not being able to find time to do her job, but finding plenty of time to post pics of her drinking fancy booze sounds to me more like she needs to work on her time management skills and will power to just sit down and do the work.
2nd paragraph: I moved to a town that I new no one when I first moved to. Random roommates can be a nightmare, I’ve been there, and that is a risk that I knowingly took when I moved here; and as I made that decision, I accepted that risk and did not blame anyone for doing so. I also knew that I was moving to a location that is MUCH more expensive than the East Bay, what a joke, and I made the choice between being poor or working a second job to make my situation better, again, not blaming anyone else for making the choice between the trade off living in a very desirable place vs living in a place with average real estate values.
3rd paragraph: I’m sorry your friend found herself homeless, again, that is a choice of living in a highly desirable locale. Housing, jobs, everything is competitive. Eat or be eaten.
4th paragraph: I am not a ‘dude’ with coding skills or money. I am a female who took her time to build contacts through jobs, and built it SLOWLY and organically so it wouldn’t take a lot of up-front funds. If you took the time to read my reply you would have seen that. It doesn’t have to be done over night and if you don’t want to work for yourself then you have to be at the will of an employer and the wages that are offered to you, which seems to be at the central point of this conversation.
5th paragraph: Before you get too far in your accusations, I have spent my time in the bay area, and have plenty of family members and friends who currently still live there, that I make a point to visit regularly; so feel free to keep that naivety that you’ve put on me to yourself. Living in expensive cities is not for everyone. If you aren’t prepared to do what it takes, and aren’t prepared to work hard for what your chosen path, then maybe it isn’t your passion. And there isn’t anything wrong with making mistakes to find the right thing. I have no doubt this is just one step in Talia’s life, and whether she continues in this industry or finds a new one, these are moments that will shape her life and she can get as many perspectives as possible, not just one that will enable her to expect the best results from the path of least resistance. There is nothing wrong with hard work and toughening up for something if you really want it, the end result will pay off exponentially and there is a huge sense of accomplishment when you work hard for something. And yes, going back to school does require money, that’s why I advised her to work while she is going to school to pay for it. I’m doing it and it isn’t that much of a hardship, and am getting that much more out of it since I am actively seeing where each dollar is great, never mind the tax benefits are phenomenal.
Conclusion: I’m not trying to beat up on Talia, or attack her, but it sounds like outside perspectives and some tough love could help her. Coddling her isn’t going to motivate her to change the status quo, thus make her quality of life better. I don’t want anyone to have a bad situation and there are a lot of things that she could change. Not wanting to change anything greatly reduces her chances of increasing that quality of life. Just attempting to put a little bit of reality in front of her, from someone who has been in her situation.