I’m not very at ease in social situations and don’t really like having the door held for me. If I’m carrying stuff it’s kind of nice but I’d probably still rather awkwardly do it myself.
Incidentally, my husband opens the car door for me all the time. I enjoy it. However, I was with a woman for 10 years and so about 1/3 of the time when he walks to the passenger door to open it for me I instinctively walk to the driver-side door. (I prefer not to drive.)
When I’m wearing heels, I could use a hand getting OUT of the car, and so I ask him to open the door for me. Otherwise he doesn’t and I’d rather not wait for him! But this is stuff we talk about. He knows that it would bother me if I held a door open for him and he insisted on me going first, for example.
If people want to care for someone, think about what that person needs, try to put yourself in their shoes. Chivalry shouldn’t be a set of rules blindly followed. Sometimes the best thing to do is ask, and be ready to take no for an answer.
Sexism is hard to explain, but talking about it helps. Thank you.