Let me first say that I picked up this book, The Mystery of Mrs. Christie, with high hopes but also, not knowing much about the author or her other books. Marie Benedict has a formula. Take a woman from history and write a novel about her life. And I have to admit, I am not sure how I feel about this. For some reason I got a “too soon” vibe and I am not sure why.
I went through a period of life a few years back where the only books I could read were Agatha Christie mysteries. I went to the library and grabbed whatever ones were available. I loved how they were so very library — black covers, old, well-read, well-loved. …
Things replace other things, I suppose.
Moving through life lessons like walking through water
With weights on your legs
Wanting to get to the other side now
Wanting to see what is on that shore now.
Getting through this, going through this,
Things pile on and pile on — from breakups to blood work,
The toll has been too much to pay, and I pray
It is reversible, I pray it all heals, I create and create,
I re/create parts of me that got lost, parts of me that got
Damaged, parts of me that got told it was my fault, knowing…
My dream list of things to do
After a pandemic
Has shifted slightly.
A bit crumpled, a bit tear-stained, with things x’d out -
Instead of ‘get married’ for example,
It now reads -
Make new friends in a city that was never mine.
Host real life glamorous and light dinner parties, themed ones -
Where people laugh and smile in this space
And create it anew, wipe it clean for me with flowers and joy.
Parties where people dress like cowboys or flappers, depending.
Where we play board games, read poetry, share our talents, clap and cheer.
Where we talk about books and Buddha, food and philosophy, art and life.
Where everyone sees the real me and is here for it, down for it — down for me. …
I discovered Better Luck Next Time on a whim the month or so after my (ex) fiance and I broke up, after five years. I had been reading every book on grieving, healing after breakup, self help, trauma and the psychology of relationships and decided that I needed a break. More than that, I had earned a break. And a break to this book-nerd means relaxing into some fiction.
The cover of Better Luck Next Time grabbed me and I picked it up. Low and behold it was set in Reno and it focused on women going through divorces in the 1930's. It was serendipity, this book and I were meant to be. The title of the book is perfect and comes straight from historical fact, something a judge in Nevada used to tell women getting their divorces — something that I enjoyed hearing myself, “Better luck next time” indeed! …
Can a trance last so many years?
I wake up.
I wake up lighter.
I wake up.
Was it all a dream, who was I? Where am I?
I wake up.
Things that were heavy, so heavy are not that heavy anymore.
I wake up lighter. I wake up light.
Maya tried to warn me, when people show you who they are,
When their mask comes off, and off, and off, -
Believe it, believe it, believe it.
This seeing shakes off the trance. This seeing brings in the light.
Whatever was, always was. Whatever is, is up to me. …
I remember asking 2020 to be the year of clear vision
And now as I leave it with tears in my eyes, I know my wish was granted.
I ask now on behalf of the many grieving, the many lost, the many
Who put out their empathy, gift wrapped and sealed with a kiss for years and years,
and had it returned, empty box, ripped paper, a turned back instead of a kiss -
I ask that 2021 be the year of integrity.
May it exist, may it exist, may it exist and surround me, surround you with
This healing depth of honesty and loyalty, this flood of being with people…