Danna Colman Good question on alone versus lonely. Being alone feels to me like being in balance and comfortable with the space of quiet. When I’m alone I have all sorts of things going on. And I guess I feel like it’s my choice to be alone. To be lonely to me feels more like an imbalance and like I’m not connecting. I can be lonely in a big room full of people because I’m not connecting but I can’t be alone in a big room of people because of all the people.
I think it’s important to be lonely, sometimes. I look at loneliness as a way to ask myself “why?” Sometimes the lonely time is fine and okay — kind of like being bored. But sometimes it’s not and I look to see what I can do differently so that I have the right connections.
I don’t have a really good black and white. I like your view on the loving someone but you cannot be with them. But, I don’t feel lonely when my husband or friends are not with me but maybe when the connections are tenuous.
I have had very lonely times. Some are related to death. Others have been related to being utterly alone in times of serious crisis and just feeling so distanced and unable to make the connections needed to pull me back to the top of the water.
Thanks for the question … will give me more to think on.