Source: Peanuts

This Is the Best Way to Get Over a Crush

When we have a serious crush, we think about them ALL THE TIME. It is all-consuming, time-sucking and focus destroying. We wonder if they like us, or what the text REALLY meant, or if we aren’t doing our part in dropping enough hints. They control the equilibrium of our day.

My crush texted me? YES! I’m WALKING ON CLOUDS.

My crush didn’t text me? OMG, I KNEW THEY WOULDN’T LIKE SOMEONE LIKE ME. I’m too this or that…

Why do we do this to ourselves?

It’s a self-indulgent, masochist game that we secretly love. Why do we keep replaying scenes over and over in our heads and fantasizing of what could happen? Why do we live in our heads more than living things out?

There are men that I had crushes on and the ‘what ifs’ drove me crazy. I would be too scared to tell them, and waited for them to be the one to tell ME. Because guys should be chasing the girls, right? I still believe in waiting for men to pursue women, but if it starts to extend beyond a time period that’s reasonable, you’re just wasting your time thinking about it instead of opening it to another person who actually likes you back.

So how do you get over your crush?

Find out the answer. Be direct. Don’t beat around the bush. Tell them these. exact. words: “I like you, do you like me?” It sounds silly and stupid, but you just can’t afford to allow for any misinterpretation or miscommunication.

Like ripping off a bandaid, if they say no, it’s going to suck at first, but you’ll soon find relief and it will deflate the feelings you had for that person. Because, why would you keep liking someone who doesn’t like you back?

I recently confessed to my crush about my feelings and he made it clear that he didn’t like me. I went through the normal feelings of rejection: embarrassed, a little ego-blown, and slightly insecure (about what ABOUT me did he not like?).

But after the dust settled, I went to yoga and quietly cleared my head. I was grateful that I could go to yoga class. I was grateful for my health. I was grateful to have a wonderful loving mother I was going to have lunch with this afternoon. There was so many things to be grateful about, and now that Mr. Crush emptied out of my system, I had more room to see how I wasn’t validated by whether someone liked me back or not. I had an infinite God that loved me, and that was more than enough. And I was thankful that I took that opportunity to lower my ego, admit to a person by being vulnerable, and stand stronger than before.

I consider that a big win.