So this child's gender is boy? But he wants to be at a sleepover with his friends, some of whom are girls? And you don't want your child to attend co-ed sleepovers?
That doesn't sound transphobic to me--the opposite would be; if you imposed the sex this boy was born with onto him and refused to acknowledge him as a boy--BUT your stance does shine a big spotlight on a child who is likely struggling, since most non-cis kids struggle as they build and grow into their identities.
I personally come from a much less strict background, and would've felt…
Good for you for sharing, for having a heappy, well-adjusted baby, and for your wife for wending the enormous transition to full-time mommying. Becoming a parent can trigger so much stuff, from the past and not, that even the easiest, smoothest baby doesn't guarantee overwhelming emotions won't come into play. And in fact even without anything emotional getting called up, it's just a huge upheaval, as you seem to understand. …
It's of course impossible to answer from outside, and I send you support as these years can be hard even when you don't have to cope with early life experiences that are working against you.
The one thing I would say based on what you've written is to be REAL with your sons (both of them). If your younger has done something crazy-making, yes, a) acknowledge internally and verbally that he surely had his reasons and you'd like to help with them but b) express how his behavior makes you feel in an honest, authentic way. "Bud" when you're feeling…
I agree that your gut is a powerful barometer. I can add that at this age--and certainly at 4--excessive interest in/focus on sexuality (you're right that some can be "normal," even when very young) is tied to the child having been over-stimulated and exposed to sexual content, whether in the form of overt abuse or covert abuse (anything from showing a young child materials/media concerning sex, talking to him/her/them excessively, letting the child bear witness to sexual encounters).
In other words, your fiance's son may be a victim of abuse or premature exposure (versus being a "pervert," which wouldn't really…
I'm slowly coming to terms with many of these exact dynamics in the ways my MIL treated my hubby as a child. They've been estranged three separate times in his life, adding up to more years apart than together, and she has no relationship with our children. She just reeled him in for another correspondance--he will not see her at this point--kicking off an email with this tantalizing lure: "I think I can finally see what you are feeling." Yet the exchange came to a screeching halt when she ultimately revealed her unchanged colors, how everything's always about her, what can she get from him, his feelings aren't valid, don't even exist. My heart hurts for him--and for us, having to try to soldier our way through her muck. There is no darker entity than a parent who cares more for her- or himself than her or his child.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with any stress/agitation around this exhilarating, scary-in-some-ways time.
I can't tell from your post if your MIL is typically a warm, close, connected, giving part of your life? If she is, then I feel as if your babymoon approach--which I love in many ways--is a little much. Honeymoons don't typically last that long, and as you will see, a two month old baby is nothing like he was at birth. They change nearly every day--a lot of stuff will be missed, even early bonding opportunities.
If, however, your MIL is a toxic or intrusive…
Aw, Mama, I feel for you, and the first thing I want to say is you are not in any way failing--what you are doing is HARD. Becoming a new mom at the start of a worldwide pandemic with Fun Dad too busy except to duck in and be Fun? And your baby is still bopping about, surviving and well, even if crying? Kudos. Props. I can't even imagine.
I wish I had more to offer beyond support--and the reality check that this would be tough even without the pandemic--so I'll try to come up with a few tangibles.
You did give her an amulet--it's your love. What a smashing freaking fantastic Easter, birthday, and life.
Is it me or is that Martha Stewart-esque?
But homemade and loved to boot.
I hope you get some you-time now!
My fifth novel came out yesterday. In traditional publishing, books always “drop” on a Tuesday. So I was in fine company — other major house releases all appearing on the same day — which led to a deeper understanding of just how very much content there is out there.
And thus a severe crisis of faith, on this glowing day of new beginnings.
We authors are like kids in a classroom, frantically flapping our hands above our heads to be seen and called on.
For me the day was going to be different, not just from ordinary days when I…
Up till now I’ve written on Medium about writing. And I’ve written about my journey to my first (unpublished) manuscript, and to getting my first agent.
But I haven’t gotten anywhere near up-to-date, what’s happening now in my career.
Because there are literally twenty years to get through.
I have been in this business for two decades. Seven years spent as a published novelist; thirteen years trying to be one.
I want to share all the steps in between with you — not skip over a single gnarly one because I think they really hold the power to give writers…
I write about getting published, the long road to a dream, and sometimes a few dark psychological places.