I don’t want to wear dresses or makeup, but I do want the body underneath my T-shirt and jeans to be female.
None of the transgender people I’ve met believe that behavior has to match the physical stereotype.
Amanda Roman
74

That seems like a very subtle distinction — I can’t quite grasp it. You’d like to be a “masculine woman” rather than just a “masculine person”…somewhere in there it seems like appearance still superficially matters, even if it’s not strictly on a masculine/feminine scale.

I guess the contradiction that pops out to me is the phrase “just want to be comfortable with their bodies”. If that was strictly true, then “misgendering” wouldn’t matter — their body doesn’t change based on someone’s opinion or impression of it. It’s almost as if “comfort” is defined instead as “socially recognizable by others”, which of course leads to feminine (or masculine) embellishments as you point out…which brings us back to superficiality.

The picture that keeps coming back to me is a genetic male dressed in full drag — in one case, he could be happy that people recognized him as a man, regardless of his dress or affectations (and perhaps upset if he was misgendered as a woman), and in another case, she could be greatly disturbed that people misgendered her as a man (and comforted if she was recognized as a woman). From an external point of view, you get the exact same picture, but *any* decision you make on gender recognition could be fraught with peril.

Anyway, thank you for your response, my comments aren’t meant to question you or experience, but simply to share a useful dialog.

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