Annville is an Ashtray

I’ve started smoking cigarettes

One by one

To get where you’ve already gone

Flicking and flashing the wand around

I feel pain when I walk this town

I don’t feel the same, I’m so down

Annville is an ashtray

Today’s been kind of shitty

And I still miss the way

You used to turn over

At the beginning of October

And I’d tell you,

You were pretty

And you’d say how you miss the city

And I’d respond, “just as long as you were with me”

What did I do wrong?

My lungs are black and I’m still oh so attached

The pink will come back

But you won’t

Isn’t this how it always goes?

Annville is an ashtray

Today was better

I still wish we were together

And I haven’t smoked since

I laid in your bed that day

I want to cry in the cafeteria

But I don’t

Because you’re so near

Still so near

Weekends are full of bad beers

And worse decisions

Why must you still love him?

Annville is an ashtray

Today was great

You now hate me

Maybe that’s what it takes?

I’ve made this vape and cigarettes

The place where it’s better to be late than never here in the first place

I remember my friend’s senior year

And how they’d smile and laugh

Even though I’m here now

And they’ve long since left this town

I still feel so sad

Thinking back

Yes I used those lines already

But they’re so fresh in my mind

As I try and find something to distract you

Tell me what it is about yourself

That causes me to melt every time

I refuse to look you in the eyes

Annville is an ashtray

That we both have used and abused so much

And now I’m fucked up

Trying to act tough

As if love was real

But you’re here to help me heal

Just to steal back your facts and figures

From that one time

I shivered and we had pizza delivered

Did that actually happen?

Perhaps you aren’t real, like love

Perhaps this could be heaven

Perhaps, or maybe it’s just hell

Tell me did you need a map to come back?

Like you never left

I dwell so long on things you’ve done like

That time you listened to that song

I sent you

That’s what it meant

Annville is an ashtray

And today was pretty shitty

Filled with memories

Of what life was like before you left me

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