The Peacemaker Challenge
Are We Falling?
I wrote, but never published, a blog article back in 2016 during a time when it seemed like everyone was divided across the World. Divisions and separations of groups seemed to be increasing. A “divide and conquer” strategy seemed to be integrated into all political systems across the globe. Played out in multiple aspects of our lives from the splitting of the European Union, the American politics, Democrat vs Republican, Liberals vs Conservatives, this side versus that side, wars and tension building between Nations, infiltrating into our Communities and even putting up walls and damaging family and close relationships.
Fast forward to today and the divide has only grown wider… It’s scary how this happened and doesn’t seem to be getting any better. We need to remember, “Divided We Fall”?
The Great Divide
Look at what is happening to our so-called “United” States. Look at the “United” Nations and the European “Union”. There is no middle ground, families and communities are breaking apart in a sense because we are at war.
The “wars” are not just happening as the physical act of fighting between Nations, but more subtly as “right” vs. “left”, conservatives vs. liberals, cops vs. blacks, Muslims vs. Christians, States vs. the Feds, corporations vs. the working class, rich vs. poor, and it goes on and on. Hateful and angry rhetoric continues from both sides that is feeding the Darkside.
Disconnection
This divide for me got very personal because it started affecting my relationship with my own father. I didn’t feel much if any connection to him in the ways a father and son probably should. It seems that his passion was more about spreading the negative, divisive and hateful things that, in my opinion, had poisoned this World rather than connecting with family in a meaningful way. I didn’t feel much love for him and found myself getting sucked into the negative thoughts and reactions that come when you try to fight (when you are at “war”.) Every time I would see his Facebook posts or read the email sharing what I believed to be hateful and ignorant, it affected me deeply. If I tried to “fight” back it creates more anxiety and stress in my life.
Curiosity is a superpower.
I have since learned to focus on the relationship and became curious. I recognized my part in creating the disconnection.
Looking back, I realize I was falling into a deep seeded negative way of “connecting” to my dad. This goes back to high school and when I started to question authority, the story I was being told, about the media, and started to fight with my parents over what I believed to be their greed and lack of foresight for the future generations. We kind of formed an attachment around having arguments or debates.
I think I felt misunderstood and we just didn’t have the ability to communicate in a way that created more trust and connection. It wasn’t until I started to be curious and learned a little about my dad’s life that I began to respect his beliefs and accept him as a teacher in my life.
Understanding who he was and where he came from helped me to put aside our differences and focus on what mattered.
The Story of the Peacemaker
Years ago I learned the Iroquois Nations story about the Peacemaker and was amazed by how similar it is to today. (There are many versions of the story, these links are two that I found to be very relevant. Story of the Peacemaker or Haudenosaunee’s Legendary Founding)
- Note: The Story of the Peacemaker and Hiawatha includes lessons about trauma and healing. There is a lot we can learn from these ancient stories. There is deeper meaning that is relevant to today, in my opinion. I will share more about this in future writings. But when we think about how the disconnection and division happens, there is often trauma and stress at the root.
Detachment and Letting Go
This story about the Peace Maker always seemed to come back into my life when I was really affected by something my dad sent me. I won’t get into the details but we had a little back and forth over something he emailed to me. I was filled with stress and anxiety (some of this a result of being over committed with obligations (work, the gym we were running, not feeling connected to my own boys and wife, and the general decisive nature of our world). I was in a “rut” and had hit what one of my teachers calls “the wall of grief”.
Then came the Poverty Island Fire. I will talk about this fire in much more detail at another time, but what happened during this fire was nothing short of a personal miracle. Being able to get away from all the anxiety and stresses in my life, spending time on an Island, working doing something I am passionate about, helped me to see more clearly what I needed to do to heal myself. Getting away, stepping back and getting a different perspective, allowed me to see where I was creating problems for myself and my part in my failing relationships.
The Great Law of Peace
The Story of the Peace Maker refers to “The Great Law of Peace” but this isn’t really defined anywhere. Peace must start with ourselves and so this challenge will focus on the only thing we really can change (Ourselves).
Some of what I believe to be parts of the “Great Law of Peace”:
1. Treat others like you want to be treated (and how you want others to treat your loved ones.) “The Golden Rule”
2. Be accountable for your actions.
3. Don’t gossip or talk behind peoples backs. Confront people directly and base information sharing on facts.
4. Take care of the Environment. Don’t be wasteful. (Never take more than you need. Base every decision on improving the future of our children.) Be a Caretaker of the Earth.
5. Share, give, and serve others.
6. Be Honest and Trustworthy (Do what you say you will do, don’t lie or deceive others.)
7. Spread Light, not Darkness.
The Peacemaker Challenge
For one month (or as long as you choose)…
-Remove (unfollow) any Social media, news, or hateful rhetoric from your life. Remove from your life anything that causes you to “go to war”, or creates a negative/dark feeling in your heart.
-Smile as often as possible. Especially to strangers.
-Find something creative to do as a hobby. (Create some art, write, or something else that you can do with your hands.)
-Spend at least 30 minutes in Nature (Meditate, pray, and be present)
Advanced Peacemaker Challenge:
Practice Detachment.
-When you feel yourself wanting to fight back or if there are things that build anxiety or make you angry, use these as opportunities to ask why this creates a certain reaction in you? Dive into this and push the edges of your comfort. Look for the light and focus on building your relationships and connecting based on our shared values and beliefs.
-Look from a different perspective to find “common ground” and to build consensus.
-”detach” or disconnect from devices or people that cause stress and anxiety (Pull back and avoid negative people or practice holding a positive space around these people. Purposely leave the phone or turn off and limit digital interactions for periods of time. Digital or certain types of fasting or cleansing).
Share your Experience. Have you chosen “connection” over “separation”?
Where can you be a Peacemaker in your life?
