WWE No Mercy 2017 Notebook & Star Ratings
AKA Please Don’t Do Whatever You’re Gonna Do, Shane
Alrighty. Let’s do this. Say a prayer for Shane McMahon because he’s probably gonna do something stupid tonight.
The Usos vs. The New Day (Tag Team Title Match): ****1/2
One hell of a match. Actually, that sentence doesn’t even do it justice. This was a fucking awesome match. Certainly as good as tag team wrestling gets in WWE right now. Some real brutal and inventive spots. The bar for match of the show has been set early. Usos win the belts. Watch this match if you missed it.
Randy Orton vs. Rusev: **1/2
This existed to give the crowd a breather after the tag title match. It was a match that Randy Orton won.
A.J. Styles vs. Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin (United States Title Match): ***1/2
Funny part early as the fans chant “Where’s your briefcase” at Corbin. I applaud their creativity. Corbin wins the title which, whatever, he was only gonna be in the doghouse for a limited time anyway. The first half or so of this match was real boring but then AJ started doing AJ things and it picked up.
Natalya vs. Charlotte Flair (Women’s Title Match): **
Well, this could have been awesome. But instead we get a lame DQ finish. Looks like they did a fake blown spot to set it up, too, which is also real stupid. Charlotte wins by DQ.
Jinder Mahal vs. Shinsuke Nakamura: ***1/2
Yeah, Mahal won, because of course he did. This wasn’t a bad match or anything and in fact I would say it’s one of Mahal’s best performances in awhile. I’m just holding out hope that this all leads to Styles vs. Nakamura at Mania.
Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler: ***1/4
My favorite moment of the show so far was Ziggler’s intro music playing and then cutting off abruptly, leaving him to walk to the ring with no music or graphics. Let’s hope they keep that. He should also strip the graphics from his trunks and go as plain Jane as possible.
Anyway this was pretty fun even though the crowd seemed real bored. Roode got the win in a sweet exchange of pulling the tights, and then Ziggler immediately hit him with the Zig Zag because Even Steven Booking. I’ll tell you what: I enjoyed this Ziggler even if it’s just for one night.
Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon: ****
One thing I noticed early on here is that Shane has one of the worst triangles I’ve ever seen. Anyway this was maybe the most tense wrestling match I’ve ever seen, largely built on what kind of death Shane McMahon would suffer. In terms of a wrestling match, it wasn’t great because Shane is pretty bad at most everything except for being a total dumbass idiot.
Once they got on top of the cage and starting doing backdrops and powerbombs, all I could think about was Mick Foley falling through the cell when it accidentally broke. This was some butthole clinching stuff.
Shane McMahon is a stupid asshole. He jumped off the top of course. He landed on his shoulder instead of you know trying to land on his back. That shit is going to hurt. But I gotta tell ya, I loved this plot twist with Sami Zayn pulling Owens to safety.
Rating this one is interesting because it’s like *** tops as a wrestling match but for what it was, which was a spectacle that made me want to vomit from tension, it was awesome. Don’t @ me.
Smackdown Live is gonna be interesting on Tuesday.
