On Weight Loss Surgery And The Unbearable Thinness Of Being
Your Fat Friend

It is a wonderfully written article— one of those pieces that makes me say “I wish I had written that.” I am male, and I recognize that fat men get a free pass in many areas that women do not. But, even so, I struggled with obesity for many years, and now that I have had bariatric surgery I find myself still struggling. In many ways, I feel embarrassed for having had surgery — not because I am unhappy with the health benefits I have enjoyed, but because of a nagging feeling that I have “sold out”. I wrote a blog piece about it several months ago in which I lamented losing my tribe — I will never be accepted as a part of the thin world, but now feel alienated from those who are as heavy as I was. Attempting to communicate any message about body positivity now results in eye rolling and some version of “Oh, but you had surgery.” I am determined to maintain my new weight, but can’t help but feel that I have lost something valuable — that I have given up a sense of community in the name of improved health. Thanks so much for your article, and I look forward to reading more from you.

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