My Ranking of the Sanrio Characters

1.Pompompurin, They’re going for something with all of these Sanrio characters, and they nailed it with Pompomurin. You could say Hello Kitty is “what they’re going for” but Pompompurin has what she has, and more, a lil butthole.

Cute!

2.Hangyodon, He’s got a great vibe. Love at first sight. He’s lonely and his main hobby is comedy. Sanrio gets it.

“classic” “babe”

3.Aggressive Retsuko, It took them 40 years to make a female character with a cool personality, but I can’t complain about the greatness that is Aggressive Retsuko. She’s like the best of both worlds Sanrio-wise.

A well rounded character

4.Gudetama, It’s honestly amazing that they managed to make gudetama so charming because the whole “I can’t even” thing can become “I hate mondays and am named Garfield” so easily but they fucking nailed it. And he’s an egg. L.O.L!

omg

5.Monkichi, He’s cool as shit. Also a comedian. I swear I’m not biased, in fact, being a comedian *should* knock them down a few pegs but damn, I like his red cheeks, LOVE HIS RED BUTT and skinny tail. He can eat ten bananas in a minute!

Nice guy with a great ass

6

Bad Badtz-Maru, He’s cool as shit. He’s the Sanrio character I most want to be friends with. As iconic as Hello Kitty, He’s basically what would happen if Bad bad Leroy Brown was a penguin.

He’s always hanging out with these Milhouses and it makes him cooler by comparison

7.Marumofubiyori, Cute as shit, got a belly button…yeah…I like ‘em.

He’s the newest boy and v cuute

8.Tenorikuma, They’re the coolest Hello Kitty knock offs. The no outline thing works for them, and they’re teeny tiny red pandas that run a coffee shop together. Tokyo Ghoul ripped them off. But that’s what arts about baby!

They’re scrappy go-getters

9.Wish Me Mell, like 26 years after Zashikibuta comes out, we get a Sanrio character in his style that works. Damn, kudos on perservereing Sanrio, I would have just made more characters with buttholes.

Yup

10.Chibimaru, It’s hard not to like Chibimaru. He’s like impossibly…the most realstic Sanrio character?

Look at this real dog! ❤

11.Chococat, He is pretty great. He’s like the new coke to Hello Kitty’s coca cola classic. Which is to say, he has a nose that is an acceptable color for a cat, not that he is an act of hubris that humbled Sanrio and nearly killed them.

People relate to his “good nose”

12.Kuromi, She’s My Melody’s vilian and she’s just basically a cooler version of My Melody. I don’t know everything about pro wrestling, but I know the villians are more interesting that the heroes.

Fukk my cubes!

13.My Melody, She’s fine, she feels really derivative of Hello Kitty, BUT AT LEAST SHE’S GOT A MOUTH. Wow! having a mouth really gets you places on this list! Above Hello freaking Kitty at least!

Hi there, I remember Gerald Ford

14.Usahana, She has that Chococat update on Hello kitty feel to her. But almost more like an update on My Melody? Maybe, I don’t like that she often doesn’t have outlines though. Like oh it’s 2001, we’re using computers to make Sanrios.

gives a shit

15.WinkiPinki, She’s like Hello Kitty’s more boring sister. Why is she ranked above Hello Kitty then? Well, I just want to let John Hughes know that he can fuck off! WinkiPinki doesn’t need to conform to your standards!

“I was thinking more “cheerleader” less “girl Paddington” -marmalade man

16.Hello Kitty, she’s fine, the classic. Honestly hard to get *too* excited about, but good overall. HATE THE YELLOW NOSE.

I have no mouth and must yellow nose

17.Cinnamoangels, The Cinnamoangels weren’t made for me, but they’re cute in a very 2005 way and I appreciate that.

Hallowed be thy name

18.Keroppi, He’s the classic example that proves that just having a mouth doesn’t make you cooler than Hello Kitty. Really not terrible all things considered.

The Pepsi of Sanrio Characters

19.Kappa Rumba, You’d think I’d be all about Kappa Rumba, because I love kappa and I his color scheme, but I just get this feeling that we wouldn’t be friends.

Where you going Kappa Rumba?

20.Plasmagica, Nobody is more surprised by me that humans could get so high on the list but here we are, they’re pretty good, and I respect that they went for it.

get used to it

21.Sanrio Danshi, It’s a coincidence that the humans are back to back, but also, if they past Hello Kitty, I’d be weird right? It’s a show about boys who like Sanrio characters. Ryo *would* like Twin Little Stars smdh. The main boy 
Liking Pompompurin proves I’m right. HAHAHAHAHA.

Love that beret!

22.Cinnamoroll, Weird complaint for a Sanrio character but…too cute? Sorry, you’re asking for weird Dark Knight Return style reimaginings.

“do you bleed?”

23.Lloromannic, Kuromi and My Melody would have you believe that being bad gives you an edge when going head to head with your rival on this list, but Lloromannic (Berry & Cherry) are just dorks. Not even as good as Cinnamoroll.

Is this from newgrounds dot com?

24.Corocorokuririn, I can’t say how I would have felt about Corocorokuririn in 1998, but this is a post Hamtaro world, I don’t date neanderthals, sorry.

honestly

25.Pekkle, He’s so, so bland. It’s almost a little charming how bland he is, which is why he’s sort of gravitating towards the best of the worst. Makes you appreciate Hello Kitty as iconic not generic.

“would baking make me endearing?” The only duck that should be made into fwah gwah

26.Dear Daniel, He’s the James Hurley of the Sanrio universe. He’s honestly probably better than Pekkle, it’s weird I want to say “at least Pekkle is his own thing” but is he? Daniel you’re not better than me because you’ve traveled.

It’s youuuuuuuu/ and IIIIIIIII

27.Landry, The thing that makes racoons good are their little hands, you can’t give them powerpuff girl style nubs. This was never going to work.

let me give you a hand

28.Masyumaro, He’s just another generic cat character who has a dumb gimmick he’s trying to get by (and get off) on. He looks like he belongs in a scrapbook. “Okay.” -Jeremy Robert Hawkins.

no caption

29.Tuxedo Sam, Don’t. Believe. His. Lies.

You’d think he’d be in a tuxedo

30.My Sweet Piano, How much can a bad name ruin your running on this list? Well, it will drop you at least 6 spots if My Sweet Piano is to be believed. “Yo MSP!” “What uPPP??”

Not a piano

31.Bonbonribbon, I can imagine this being someone’s favorite Sanrio character, but to me she’s just another fucking bunny, and she came out immediately after Wish Me Mell, the best Sanrio bunny. Bad timing :-/

texture

32.Pannapitta, He’s fine, but he’s like the most “whatever” Sanrio character ever. At least I’m like “nerd” to Pekkle and “plz don’t exist” to Spottie Dottie (later on this list).

I only would like him as an early early early animation character

33.Little Forest Fellow, I’m not stupid, I know all of these characters are souless cash grabs, but like, especially so with Little Forest Friend. Pannapitta and Little Forest Friend are two sides of the “took no chances” coin.

“I’m a hodgepodge”

34.Pippo, Sometimes I look at some of these Sanrio charactes and just go “who do they think these characters are for?” because this is some pre-school shit.

I was going to put Pippa Middleton as a joke, but she’s more boring than low tier Sanrio Characters

35.CharmmyKitty, Honestly so much more fucked up than the Goofy/Pluto thing ever was.

whatever

36.Zashikibuta, Don’t like his arts and crafts chain store vibe. There’s a lot of dolls of him that look like they were made out of old windbreakers. fml.

“do murders for me”

37.Miss Bear’s Dream, Why make her a plush bear?! You’re going to make in into one anyway, so lets make her one. I think all the Winnie the pooh characters were canonically toys, but we don’t see the stiches mother fucker.

I’m inanimate

38.Hummingmint, SHe’s so much better than Deery Lou, she is a Sanrio character, she’s still not all that and a bag of anthropomorphic chips that are stressed out, but cute.

clip clop, the horse with a bow

39.Pochacco, His whole vibe seems very poochie, very poochie by way of Zashikibuta. Like, If you want to make Zashikibuta, god love, but don’t make Pochacco. And he’s such a waste of a good name.

popped collar, eats p***y

40.Little Twin Stars, get this precious moments shit out of my face

We promise not to rattle cages, your preconceived notions are safe!

41.Jewelpet, It must have sucked to give a shit about new Sanrio characters in the late 00s.

Look at these bad characters

42.Patapatapeppy, Wonder if they accidentally or intentionally made a care bear friend? I think accidentally because they gave him this children’s storybook watercolor look. They could have given up on Pattapattapeppy.

“I’m blurry”

43.Sugarbunnies, The Sugarbunnies were 100% supposed to be care bears. Give me a fucking break.

We are legion

44.Sugarminuet, Hey Sanrio, get this “I DON”T FUCKIN G LIKE SUGARBUNNIES”!

two more

45.Cocoa and Vanilla, The Sugarbunnies continue to get worse. (2012)

two more

46.Spottie Dottie, I really, really don’t like how she sometimes has a girl body, sometimes has a dog body. Disturbing. Please keep your fucking clothes on. You’re supposed to be a fashion expert for Christ’s sake.

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo pick one :(((((

47.Deery Lou, If you told me that Deery Lou was made by the same people who made Hello Kitty, Bad Badtz-Maru, and Hangyodon I wouldn’t believe you. It’s like clip art quality.

Sanrio though the ages

70s: They were really lucky that Hello Kitty was/is so good, and I bet she was even better back then. But boy oh boy, all the other Sanrio Characters of that time were stinkers.
80s: They wasted half of the 80s not making new Sanrio characters and the first thing that they come up with is Zashikibuta? Embarassing, but then a year later they got Hangyodon, so good on them. 
The 80s really showed that they were ready to expiriment and learn from their mistakes, but Pochacco kinda proves that they didn’t always learn after one attempt at making a shitty character!
90s: They were pretty prolific in the 90s, they made a lot of good stuff, and a lot of bad stuff. That’s just how art goes man! Pompompurin really raised the bar, he’s great. It’s exciting to see the Zashikibuta clones slowly die off.
00s: It seems like at the start of the 00s they really figured shit out, but not in a way that I like at all. Even the good ones of the 00s don’t get me excited. It’s like tweaks to existing things, and we didn’t get what felt like would
be the next logical step after making Pompompurin, or a great bad boy/girl. I really have to keep in mind that the Tenorikuma are very small in order to not get depressed by that whole decade.
10s: Unquestionably the best time to be a Sanrio fan, so gald they got their shit together. Like, if they just want to make all their shitty cash grabs sugarbunnies, be my guest! But just keep pushing the boundaries in other areas, K?