i’m leaving Medium after this comment, but i saw this topic in my email notifications and i had to see what your story was. i have some thoughts, if you’re open, but i expect you to not care what i have to say, so forgive my indulgence.
firstly, i think that one guy called you “cold” because you didn’t want to be affectionate after sex, since you declined cuddling, and maybe he was into you more than you were to him, and he was being defensive and upset at a perceived lack of emotion and/or perceived satisfaction from you?
secondly, i want to say that i never really thought of this topic the way you pointed it out, and i do agree there is a certain level of egoism when it comes to sex, especially from men, but just as much as a man feeling pride for “making a woman cum” can seem egotistical, is this really something that is all that negative?
in fact, can a woman feel pride for making a man cum? would that be bad? i realize if someone is obnoxiously egotistical about sex and their performance, that is a turnoff and annoying, but it’s nice to at least know someone who has just enough pride to say that they are capable, albeit, in a more subtle way than just saying “i make them cum.”
anyways, after reading the rest of the article, i don’t have anything else to add that is contrary to anything else you said. i think overall that this is a good article, and i hope more people can see the wisdom in what you have to say. farewell, i’m gone.