Becoming a Father is All About Trying, Learning and Coping

Jeremy Lawson
Aug 9, 2017 · 3 min read

When my wife announced her pregnancy, our family and friends were understandably overjoyed. With all their wishes came a tornado of advice, ranging from dealing with pregnancy to caring for an infant to sending your child to college! Everyone seemed to be an expert at this and were ever so willing to share their words of wisdom. I also invested a great deal of time reading articles on what one needs to know before becoming a dad. Even with all the suggestions and dos and don’ts, NOTHING prepares you for parenthood.

Now that my son is three years old, I can claim to be an expert at this! So, here are three things I struggled with and overcame in the first three years of being a dad.

My Very Own Top 3

Trying to be understanding: While you’re dealing with all the anxiety and nervousness around becoming a parent, so is your wife. Speaking the same language may seem to be becoming a thing of the past. Open communication is a challenge because neither of the partners have a complete sense of what they themselves are feeling. How we dealt with this was to read about what the other may be experiencing. Contrary to what we joke about, it isn’t that difficult to understand women. The physical changes caused by pregnancy and childbirth play an important role in how a woman feels emotionally during different stages of motherhood. I found this infographic by Healthline quite useful, and I’ve referred to it several times.

Learning to let go: Most men like to feel they’re in control of things, whether it’s about taking financial decisions or fixing the car before a road trip. When you have a baby, there are so many things that make you feel totally out of control. Your baby may be crying incessantly and your first instinct would be to think of all the things you can do to fix it. These thoughts make you anxious and soon you’re in as much need of comforting as your baby. Of course, this doesn’t mean you stop trying to make everything perfect. For instance, when I learned how sensitive babies are, I bought several bottles of Zoono, a nontoxic antimicrobial solution that keeps killing germs for up to 24 hours after an application. I took the necessary precautions, and then consciously decided to not beat myself over it if my baby didn’t sleep at night due to colic.

Coping with change: When you become a father, everything changes. Your social life comes to a standstill. What you loved doing most in your free time needs to take a backseat. You’re either working or spending time with your baby. And, there are always a zillion things to get done. It’s important to cope with these changes without feeling overwhelmed. The only way to do that is to take a break. So, allocate a day a week for alone time. Ensure your wife gets that too.

Becoming a father is probably the most beautiful feeling in the world. And, you’re normally surprised at the extent of unconditional love you can feel. Despite these facts, it’s normal to feel extremely tired or completely overwhelmed at times.

Jeremy Lawson

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Digital Marketing Consultant, E-Business Enthusiast

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