
What Comes After a Soulmate?
In Plato’s dialogue, Symposium, his character Aristophanes, explains our desire to love each other and the origin of the belief about soulmates. Aristophanes’ story describes how some humans were originally androgynous beings with one head with two faces, four legs, and four arms and with both male and female sex organs. Threatened by the power of these human creatures, Zeus decided to cut them in two thus weakening them. The two halves of these creatures were miserable and endlessly longing for its other half, with a deep yearning to return to one’s (original) self. With this information, Aristophanes quote in Plato’s Symposium holds a clearer meaning. “Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. Each of us, then, is a ‘matching half’ of a human whole…and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him.”
The word soulmate sparks thoughts of “a perfect match” or maybe someone with whom you have a relationship, and there is minimal friction, “everything is perfect.” The truth is a soulmate is someone who shows up in you to assist you in learning your life lessons. They know who you truly are, they will break through the limits you set in yourself, and they may break you down to rubble emotionally. “A soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life,” (Gilbert, 2018).
How do you know when someone is your soulmate? Well, you might be confused, vulnerable, pushed to your limits and then experience the growth that only develops through strength and courage. A soulmate is a person who in alignment with your soul and they show up in your life to challenge and awaken you at your soul level. This stirring in your soul will transform you to a higher level of consciousness and awareness; once the lesson is learned physical separation often occurs.
I can attest to this through personal experience. My late husband and I reunited after 39 years. Our love was heartfelt, powerful and intense. “We were Soulmates.” I firmly believe that he came back to me after all those decades so I could help him get ready for the next realm, because I did, and he was here to usher me into the next chapter of my life, and he did. When I look back on this relationship, I realize that he raised the vibration of love to a level I had never before known. Now, over two years later, the love we shared resonates all the way to my soul. Yes, I miss him, I am also profoundly grateful to him for being in my life. For teaching me about unconditional love and being present in a relationship. When people learn that I lost my husband, they express condolences. I get a gentle smile on my face and say dreamily, “He left me very loved.” They are usually surprised at my response, but I believe that moving through loss with courage and grace is based on where my attention is. I prefer to focus on the gifts. A therapist, who knew both of us, said to me one day after he passed, “He opened up your soul.” Yeah, he sure did.
I would like to share with you the distinction of a life partner from a soulmate. A life partner is a friend and a companion; they are a secure and stable individual that you trust profoundly. You can lean on them and depend on them. In a life partner relationship, the feelings are mutual regarding love, respect, values and there is a sense of synchronicity. “What greater thing is there for two human souls than to have a deep feeling of being joined for life? They are to strengthen each other and to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories” (Elliott, 2018).
What kind of man is it that is equipped to show up and love for a lifetime? I am glad you asked. Let me introduce you to the concept of a conscious and evolved man; he is a man who is living his life with purpose. Conscious and aware men take care of themselves, they eat healthily, dress well and have a balance between the spiritual, emotional, physical and mental areas of their life. They do not shy away from emotions, in themselves or others. They are in touch with both their masculine and feminine qualities such as listening, being present and responding with compassion and empathy. Conscious men have a growing level of mastery in the areas of business, relationships and intimacy all stemming from their life lessons and experience. They are not afraid to lean in and live life on the edge. Conscious men have integrity, authenticity and they live their truth. “They know that the outer world is simply a tool for inner transformation and the inner world a source of love and charity and outer change” (Kozey, 2016).
How does a woman attract a conscious man? By showing up as a conscious and evolved woman herself. She has many similarities of a conscious man; emotional maturity, she lives with integrity, she is authentic and living her truth. She can remain open even when it’s painful. She carries all the qualities, both feminine and masculine and balances them. Both conscious men and conscious women are self-actualizing and on a journey of personal growth. Being conscious is beyond just the physical body, being conscious encompasses our entire being, our inner world, our spirit and our soul.
What if you became more aware of yourself and evolved into a more conscious being? What if you recognized the characteristics of a conscious and evolved partner? What if you connected with someone who loves, adores and genuinely cares about you for a lifetime? Through this discussion, there is clarity in how the concepts of a life partner and a conscious partner are preferable over a “soulmate.” If you are yearning for the love of your lifetime, I invite you to focus on showing up in life a conscious human being. I will leave you with one of my most empowering affirmations. “I am grounded, I have an unbreakable bond with myself, and my heart is wide open.”
Resources
Elliott, George (2018). Quote, Quotable Quotes, Goodreads. Retrieved from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/33308-what-greater-thing-is-there-for-two-human-souls-than
Gilbert, Elizabeth (2018). Quote, Quotable Quotes, Goodreads. Retrieved from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/17194-people-think-a-soul-mate-is-your-perfect-fit-and
Kozey, Jordan (2016, January 7). How to Recognize a Conscious Man by the way He Loves. The Good Men Project. Retrieved from https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-to-recognize-a-conscious-man-by-the-way-he-loves-fiff/
Plato, Symposium. Written 360 BCE. Retrieved from http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html