First Day Jitters

Jerick Bonamy
Aug 8, 2017 · 2 min read

Tomorrow is the first day of a new semester for me at Ateneo de Manila University. I’ve been told that the upcoming semester is the most difficult semester for an Management Engineering (ME) student, such as myself. I’ve been told that it’s either I get it or I don’t. I’ve been told it’s hell on earth. 3rd year 1st semester is so frightening for ME students that my batchmates even constructed a video of them asking people who got through the “SMEG sem” for some advice (which I appreciate).

this is how the video starts (0:12)

As I mentally prepare myself for the challenges ahead, I can’t help but recall my 1st day in Ateneo as a freshman. I cried on my first day of school. I know it sounds absurd that a college boy would cry in class but that’s something I actually did. On top of that, the reason I cried was because I was late for class — I know, it’s below shallow of a reason to cry in college.

Why does this matter to me now though? Looking back, I realized that the whole reason I cried was because I was just so terrified. I was scared that I would be considered a bad student and that my teacher would get angry at me for being late. I was afraid that I had wasted one of my cuts. I was afraid that my classmates would judge me as someone irresponsible. I was just scared, just like how I should be feeling for the upcoming semester.

Fear had it’s grip on me as I entered Ateneo as a freshman but I decided that tomorrow should be a different scenario. I resolve to not fear my classes; rather, I should find a way to enjoy them and make the most out of the terror professors I’ve been dealt with. The upcoming semester will be an uphill battle but I should not be scared of it or I might cry again.

Looking back again on my first day as a freshman, I don’t think it went that badly either. I got to go to one of Ateneo’s “hidden” restaurants (Zekaf) and enjoy the scenery along with the awkward silences and occasional laughter of new found friends. I hope that when I look back at the upcoming semester, I’ll be able to say that I’ve made deep connections with my new classmates, especially the ones I’ll be working with!

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