Fifteen’s Feedback

The time left in the city has dwindled down to at most two months left. It’s bizarre how much has jet by in the last four weeks. April itself was not nearly as eventful as other months. In fact, a look at my own personal finances illustrated to me a period of the least amount of money spent. Go me! … I guess.

One thing that stands out was that I remember nothing meaningful in terms of food that I’d had. I suppose it was par for the course with my regular vegetarian staples at each and nearly every meal. I may have been making up for the dietary infidelity from March, so my faithfulness rewarded me with an expected increase in savings. I’ll definitely need the extra income for the upcoming move back and tentative road trip ahead.

Work has been everything I knew it would be. It seems as if fewer and fewer students are on campus, spelling out a sign on the wall of an impending closure. The administration has also been suspicious with their statements and calls for meeting. Those of us in the dark here on this campus have ideas that the worst has yet to come. Thankfully, I’m not as invested in my future here, so I’m not as worried. My concerns are more for hoping that these fellow colleagues won’t get shafted. If they do happen to get caught off guard, then all the best in them landing on their feet. There’s a lot going on bureaucratically with this school, and all the red tape has made for navigating sensitive topics an unintended resume point.

In other news, I had gotten back into Starcraft. It’s felt like being in middle school all over again pouncing on any User Map Settings game that I could get my hands on. I picked up where I left off and it was without difficulty adjusting to the small variations in the game mechanics after nearly two decades of life in between. The late nights of Sunken D and getting the perfect layout of Marines and Drones appealed to my obsession with getting things as perfect as I can. It’s no surprise that with this recent hobby reintroduced to my life that I was as unproductive as can be in all other aspects of my life.

With my time outside of work and play, improv has been a wild beast to tame. I’ve gotten better at handling certain situations that I find myself in, but I continue to push the limits of comfort for what works and what doesn’t. That search for the illusive perfect scene is the addiction I’ve been inflicted with. I’ve found no better moment than being fully immersed in the constructed reality and finding the joy in an audience’s positive feedback. When my time in NYC is over, I’m looking at continuing my studies and practice in whatever destination my life takes me.

As for the romantic side of my life, I’ve been in the same low-effort mindset that I first started off with. It may be again that I haven’t found anyone here that I’m willing to sacrifice or compromise with. In the few instances that there were glimmers of that, the feelings weren’t reciprocated. No matter the outcome, I’ve been far from sullen about the circumstances. I get that I’m quite picky towards non-platonic interests and that often gets displayed in making friends far more easily. I find that there’s nothing wrong with how that occurs in my life as long as I know that my actions reflect how I feel. I don’t believe my intentions are to be concealed behind friendly gestures when I genuinely and solely have little attraction to the other person. As for when I’m attracted to someone, it will take more practice to be sincere and straightforward for future reference.

All of this insight and recording of my thoughts amounts to a strange and almost perverse desire for future Jerome to gaze back at the perspective of current Jerome’s idiosyncrasies. I wonder what time holds in the path ahead. Perhaps this little project of posts will mean something more to that person than it does to the one sitting behind the keyboard at the time of this writing.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.