Day 3 in the ICU

When someone is seriously ill it is like riding a rollercoaster that you are led to in blindfolds. You show up, get on but go in so many directions in a short time that it shocks the senses. The days or moments bleed into others. After being in the situation for 12 hours you lose track of time. Someone gives you information that seems positive, but then a doctor or someone else gives you another perspective that leads you to believe that hope is diminished.

My mom started out stable on all the vitals. And we decided to do “acute dialysis” which is a 4 hour process. Then her heart began to race. She “tolerated” the procedure which is awesome. But then you have to control the blood pressure and heart rate because it beings to fluctuate.

Then my 86 year old dad the night before while gettin in his wheelchair gets his finger caught in a door creating an open fracture. So I go in at 6 am and my sister brings him to ER at 10. So I spend the next 4 hours going between the ER and ICU to keep up to date. In the end my dad gets stitches and needs to see doctor the next day, tomorrow.

At the end of the day, my mom is stable. And Ifind out that the kidney does alot of shit. Besides just filtering toxins, it has a big impact on the blood pressure, acidity of blood, heart rate, etc. I need to quit drinking bourbon.

Tomorrow is another day. More dialysis, and waiting to see how things go. And more importantly she may come to be awake more, to recognize faces, etc. Although in a confused state, this is one thing I have been waiting for. To make sure she knows that I am there for her. To love her and make sure she realizes that whatever the future holds that her son values her, and is there for her with the rest of her family.

But living away, 6 hours away, and visiting her less than I should I want her to know that I am always there. And she doesn’t need to worry that I will be sad when something is going on with her to make me sad.

Sorry if I make grammatical mistakes or spelling mistakes. Don’t really care. And even if no one reads this, I don’t really care. It makes me feel better.