The Secret Sex Life of Angels (4)
(This excerpt from The Secret Sex Life of Angels is reprinted with the permission of the publisher, DreaMaster Books.
Copyright © I. J. Weinstock, 2016. All rights reserved.)
Chapter 4 — “Mysteries of Isis”
The next morning Adam dragged himself out of Lincoln’s bed still praying for a sign. The knot in his stomach reminded him that he wa teetering over an abyss. One wrong move and he’d better know how to fly.
Running late, he missed breakfast with the family. Maybe it was just as well after last night’s debacle with Eve. By the time he walked into the Oval, a pot of strong coffee was waiting for him. He eyed the stack of briefs on his desk. They were like weeds — no matter how many he picked up, more would take their place. Suppressing a yawn, he poured himself a cup, sat on the couch and flashed his waiting Chief of Staff a let’s-get-down-to-business look. “What’ve we got?”
Cunningham went over the day’s schedule which included a morning meeting with the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and lunch with the Queen of England. “At 12:30 you greet the Queen. After a brief photo op, you’ll have lunch in the East Room. Her Majesty departs at 3:00. Thankfully, we can count on the Brits to be punctual.”
Adam chuckled, recalling the joke he and Eve had shared about his lubed hand shaking the Queen’s gloved one.
“Sir…?”
Adam ignored his unspoken question. “That leaves one more palm to press.”
Cunningham frowned. “You’re not going to like this. After the Queen, you’ve got a 1-on-1 with an intelligence operative.”
“Another spook? Which agency? CIA? NSA?”
Cunningham shifted uneasily in his chair. “I’m…uh…not really sure.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“That’s all I was told by our National Security Advisor.”
“That’s it?” Annoyed, Adam poured himself more coffee.
Cunningham shrugged. “He’s one of those people who’s got NQA clearance.”
“What?!”
“No Questions Asked,” Cunningham translated.
Adam had heard of these shadow operatives but assumed they were legend. “Is this the guy who’s gonna tell me about some underground alien bases and our secret contacts with ETs?”
Cunningham shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “As to his portfolio, department or agenda…I’m afraid I’m in the dark about that, too.”
“Jesus, Bill!”
Cunningham shrugged. “I couldn’t dig up anything except that he’s got a higher security clearance than I do. This is way past top-secret. For Your Eyes Only.”
“So what’s this guy’s name?”
Cunningham hesitated. “Merlin.”
Adam thought it was one of Cunningham’s jokes…but his Chief of Staff wasn’t laughing.
That afternoon, a tall, dignified man was shown into the Oval Office for a private meeting with the President. Adam was surprised to feel a twinge of disappointment upon first setting eyes on Merlin. The man standing before him bore no resemblance to the legendary wizard of Camelot. No luxuriant mane of shoulder-length white hair. No flowing beard. This Merlin was clean-shaven and his head was bald and gleaming. Adam guessed he was in his mid-60’s.
Although not the mythical character who’d sparked Adam’s imagination as a boy, this Merlin cut quite an eccentric figure in his white linen suit, saffron vest and paisley tie. Not your typical spook, Adam thought. Though Merlin leaned on a cane, he didn’t seem disabled in any way. On the contrary, he exuded a palpable strength. Unlike everyone who entered the Oval for the first time, he appeared wholly unimpressed by his audience with the President of the United States. As Merlin’s piercing gray eyes took the President’s measure, Adam was struck by their intensity.
“Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. President,” Merlin said in a surprisingly deep voice. His handshake was even more surprising. Not its strength, but rather the unmistakable yet subtle energy that seemed to flow from his hand. Adam’s palm continued to tingle as he gestured for Merlin to take a seat.
While Adam made himself comfortable on one of the couches, Merlin continued to stand, glancing around the room with familiarity. “I see you’ve made some changes.”
“So you’ve been here before.”
“Several times. Every new President does something different. It’s a way of marking their territory.”
Adam chuckled. “That’s one way to look at it.”
Merlin sat down and removed a hand-tooled leather bag from his shoulder which he carefully placed on his lap. Adam was about to offer him a cup of coffee from the silver service on the table between them when Merlin suddenly closed his eyes and began taking deep breaths.
What the hell’s going on? Adam wondered.
Merlin’s lips moved imperceptibly as though in prayer. For a moment, he reminded Adam of a Buddhist monk.
When Merlin’s eyes finally opened, they fixed on Adam. To avoid their scrutiny, he looked away and gestured toward the Rose Garden. “Spring is such a beautiful time to be in Washington, isn’t it?”
“There’s a season for everything, Mr. President, and Spring is the season for new beginnings. I know your time is limited, so let me get right to the point.”
Yeah, like who are you and what the hell are you doing here?!
“I know you must be wondering who I am and what I’m doing here.”
Startled, Adam leaned back and folded his arms over his chest.
“Yes, yes I do. No one seems to be able to give me any information.”
“Let me answer you in this way…I’ve come to offer you a once-in-alifetime opportunity reserved for presidents.”
Adam was confused. He was also curious. “Go on.”
“I know that to you, your National Security Advisor and your very capable Chief of Staff, I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma. But I assure you that your questions will be answered in due course. First, I want you to know that I’m a great admirer and, along with every American, I expect great things of you.”
“Well, thank you.” Adam shifted uneasily on the couch. Despite the flattery, he was beginning to sense that, although he outranked Merlin, the man seated across from him was actually the more powerful individual in the room.
Before Adam could take control of the meeting, Merlin reached into his bag and withdrew a small, gift-wrapped box. “Please accept this token.”
Adam’s questions would have to wait. Inside the box, he found an antique, silver letter-opener. He forced a smile. “Thanks. It’s…uh…very thoughtful.”
“Take a closer look,” Merlin urged.
The letter-opener was shaped like a medieval sword. Engraved across the handle was the word, Excalibur. Adam smiled at the name of King Arthur’s legendary sword — This guy does his homework. “Aren’t you taking that code-name of yours a little too seriously?”
“Merlin is my real name.”
“Oh…?”
“My mother was a bit eccentric. She named my sister Guinevere. Smith is such a common last name. I guess I’m a bit eccentric, too.”
Trying a different tack, Adam pointed to Merlin’s cane with its hand-carved crocodile handle. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one like it. Why a crocodile?”“
Merlin held up his cane to give the President a better look.
“The ancient Egyptians considered them sacred, the guardians of secret things.” He stroked the carved handle with long, delicate fingers. “I prefer to think of it as a dragon.”
Adam felt himself adrift. Why is this Merlin character talking to me about dragons?
“What I’m about to reveal to you, Mr. President, may shock you. Most Americans don’t realize that we’re a nation whose Founding Fathers — Washington, Franklin, Jefferson, and many of the signers of the Declaration of Independence — were members of a secret order that began in ancient Egypt.”
Adam’s head was spinning. Yesterday he was told there was no future, and today he’s hearing about a secret society from the past.
Merlin reached into his pocket and withdrew a dollar bill. “They even marked our currency so we wouldn’t forget.” He handed it to the President.
Adam studied the familiar engraving on the back of the bill. His eye fell on the unfinished pyramid.
“Do you know what the pyramid capped by the All-seeing-Eye actually means?” Merlin asked.
“I thought you were here to brief me, not test me.” Adam handed the bill back.
“Every one of these bears witness to the fact that we are a nation with a deep connection to the ancient mysteries.”
Adam’s patience was wearing thin. “What does all this have to do with why you’re here?”
Merlin reached for his cane. “Are all recording devices turned off?”
“I assure you nothing is being recorded.”
Merlin twisted the cane’s carved handle, releasing a telescoped sensor hidden within it. “You’ll excuse me, Mr. President, but what I’m about to show you is for your eyes and ears only.” Satisfied with the results, he put his cane aside.
Adam was impressed, not only that Merlin possessed such a device, but that he could get it past security. What other tricks does this guy have up his linen sleeve?
As if on cue, Merlin reached into his leather bag and withdrew what appeared to be an antique jewelry box. He placed it on the coffee table so that it faced the President. Then, with an air of ceremony, he lifted the lid. The box contained a rolled parchment and an old suede pouch.
“I suggest you read this first.” Merlin offered the President the parchment. “Please handle it carefully,” he cautioned. “It’s quite old.”
Intrigued, Adam slowly unrolled what appeared to be a letter written by quill in the calligraphy of a bygone era. Dated January 24, 1789, it was addressed to “the President of the United States of America.”
Adam shot Merlin a look. “Is this for real?”
Merlin nodded.
Adam began to read…
When in the course of human events a Nation elects a Leader, that Man is entrusted with a most sacred Responsibility: that by the labours of his Office he may promote the lasting welfare of his country and secure the Freedom and Happiness of its People.
Your Excellency has been elected by the People to lead this great Nation, so dear to us all, into a New Day. Yet a great leader must not only garner the approval of the People, he must win the favour of the Gods as well.
From the Age of the Pharaohs, our noblest Leaders have sought guidance by Initiation into the most sublime Wisdom ever taught; the ancient wisdom of Egypt, known to us down through the Ages as the Mysteries of Isis. These ancient Mysteries declare, “The Pharaoh Must Join Heaven and Earth and so commune with the Gods on behalf of his People.”
The Pharaohs of Egypt were Initiates, as, we believe, were Moses, Solomon, Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar. Throughout History, this priceless Gift of Initiation has been offered to Emperors and Kings. There can be no certainty, however, since Initiation is shrouded in Secrecy.
Know you then that among those honourable men who pledged their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor to declare the independence of these United States of America, can be found Initiates into these ancient Mysteries.
Initiation may grant you the sacred privilege of glimpsing the Realm of the Gods, wherein you will perceive, through the all-seeing Eye of God, beyond the illusion of Time and thereby receive the divine Vision with which to govern wisely.
In the name of the People of the United States of America, and with steadfast reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we entreat you to accept Initiation for the greater good of the Nation.
Recognizing the signatures of Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and several other signers of the Declaration of Independence, Adam was stunned. The letter seemed so real and yet absolutely unreal. Exhausted from lack of sleep, he wondered if he was dreaming.
This whole thing’s preposterous! He imagined the look on Cunningham’s face if he ever found out. Cunningham! Of course! He began to laugh and tossed the parchment on the coffee table. “I’ve got to admit, this is a good one, Merrrlin! Or whatever your name is. You really had me going. You can tell Cunningham I’m not gonna bite. NQA clearance! I must be one gullible son-of-bitch to fall for something like — ”
“You’re terribly mistaken,” Merlin insisted, his eyes narrowing.
“Hey, you can drop the act. Okay? You had me fooled for a minute there. Well done! Bravo!” Adam clapped three times, then picked up his coffee and drank. “So what are you? An actor?”
Merlin rose to his feet without the aid of his cane. Now towering over Adam, he fixed him with a look that extinguished the grin on the President’s face. “I assure you, Mr. President, this has nothing whatever to do with your Chief of Staff. In fact, if you honor the oath you’ve taken, he will go to his grave ignorant of this matter.”
“But…” Adam protested. “You mean…” It was as if a trapdoor had opened. A moment ago he was certain that Cunningham had played a practical joke on him to make up for the missing future fiasco. That certainty evaporated under the intensity of Merlin’s reproach. “I…I don’t know what to say,” he muttered, trying to get his bearings. “If that’s real…” He pointed to the letter. “It’s…” His voice trailed off. Trying to regain his footing, he muttered, “Where’d you get it?”
“From my predecessor,” Merlin replied, retrieving the parchment letter from the table and carefully rolling it up and returning it to the box.
“You mean…there’ve always been…people like you?”
Merlin nodded and sat back down. “I’ve met my share of Presidents over the years.”
Adam was suddenly bursting with questions, but Merlin silenced him with a raised hand. “There’s more.” He picked up the old suede pouch. “Along with the letter, this has been shown to every newlyelected President.” Loosening the drawstring, he took out a large green crystal. The size and shape of a small pear, it was rounded on one end and tapered into facets on the other. “This emerald has a history of over 5,000 years.” With great solemnity, he handed it to the President.
Adam was immediately struck by the way the crystal felt in his hand, as if it had been ergonomically designed to be held, indeed, custom-made for him. He was captivated by the way it refracted light, seeming to glow from within. As he held it, his grip tightened with an inexplicable longing. When he tried to name the feeling, the only word that came to mind was desire. The parchment could be a forgery, but his senses told him that this was no ordinary crystal. He glanced over at Merlin. “What is this?”
“Look more closely, Mr. President.”
Holding the crystal up to the light, Adam noticed what appeared to be Egyptian hieroglyphs etched along the faceted surfaces. Beneath the symbols were unmistakable images. In the center facet, a pyramid capped by the All-Seeing Eye like the one on the dollar bill. To the left of the pyramid stood what appeared to be an Egyptian queen. To the right, a pharaoh. With an erection.
Adam was dumbfounded. “What does this mean?”
“You recognize the seal, don’t you?”
“I don’t mean the pyramid.”
“Oh… The inscription reads, The Pharaoh must join Heaven and Earth.”
“Why does he have a — ?!”
“The term, Mr. President, is ithyphallic, which means — ”
“I know what it means. But what the hell does it have to do with the President of the United States?”
“If you look closely, you’ll see for yourself.”
Adam turned toward the windows for more light and peered into the crystal’s emerald depths. To his astonishment, a holographic image was embedded deep within it. The Egyptian couple appeared to be locked in an embrace. As he slowly rotated the gem, the image moved. Startled, he blinked several times, unsure if it was a trick of the light or the royal couple making love!
Turning to Merlin for an explanation, he was confronted by his outstretched hand waiting for the crystal’s return. Merlin put the emerald in its pouch, placed it in the box and closed the lid. “Mr. President, the secret at the heart of these ancient mysteries is that they’re sexual.”
“Jesus!” Adam muttered. In the last 24 hours the world seemed to be turning upside down.
“As the letter from the Founders states,” Merlin continued, “these Initiations have been offered to pharaohs, kings and, in recent history, to our presidents.”
“Let me get this straight. You’ve personally offered this…to other presidents?”
“Yes.”
“How many?”
“I can’t say.”
Adam wasn’t used to having his questions ignored or his requests denied. “Did any of them accept?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. President, I can’t reveal that. As the letter states, these Mysteries are shrouded in secrecy.”
“I’ll bet they threw you out on your ass! Why would any president in his right mind get involved in something so…crazy!?”
Merlin had been here before, peppered with questions he couldn’t answer. “I can tell you this… Those who accepted Initiation changed the course of history.”
Adam immediately thought of Lincoln. The abolition of slavery? The Civil War? Impossible! He loosened his tie. “So…what exactly are these…Mysteries? And what about this Isis? Don’t tell me it’s connected to — ”
“No. She has nothing to do with the Islamic State or jihadi terrorists.”
“She?”
“Isis was an Egyptian goddess. One of the great goddesses of the ancient world. She was worshiped for thousands of years. Even by the Greeks and Romans until Christians banned her worship in the 6th century. It’s ironic because Isis was the model for Mary…except that she was no virgin. The ancient Egyptians didn’t believe sex was a sin.”
“And what about the sex?” Adam asked pointedly.
“Ah…this brings us to the Mysteries.”
“Finally,” Adam grumbled.
“The story goes like this… Isis loved Osiris who was also a god. Osiris was killed by his jealous brother, Set, who dismembered Osiris’ body and scattered the pieces throughout Egypt. Grief-stricken, Isis spent years searching for Osiris’ body piece by piece.”
“Could we cut to the chase?”
“Eventually, Isis gathered every part of Osiris’ body, except one. Set had thrown his penis into the Nile where it was eaten by a fish.”
Adam squirmed. “Then what?”
“To resurrect her beloved Osiris from the dead, Isis had to make love to him. But how? So she created a golden phallus for him.”
Merlin leaned forward, his eyes riveted on Adam. “Osiris’ golden phallus is a symbol of the ancient sexual wisdom known as the Mysteries of Isis. These Mysteries teach the secret of how sex can be used to commune with the gods.”
“Hold on! You don’t really believe all that — ?!”
“It’s not a question of belief.” Merlin pinned Adam with the intensity of his gaze. “It’s a matter of experience.”
“Are you an Initiate?”
“I am…but only of the Lesser Mysteries.”
Adam rose from the couch and retreated behind his desk.
“The Greater Mysteries are reserved for pharaohs, kings and presidents like yourself.”
Adam reached for his quill. Sinking back into his leather chair, he began preening the feather.
Merlin approached his desk.
Adam looked up at him. “I’d rather you’d told me that UFO s exist! That ETs are real! That we have secret alien bases somewhere underground in the desert!”
Merlin nodded. “I understand. I know that what I’ve told you is hard to believe. That’s why you were shown the letter.”
“Could be a forgery!”
“What about the emerald? You can’t deny what you felt.”
Dammit, I asked for a sign, but this is insane! “Great! So our Founding Fathers were members of a sex cult!” He jammed his quill back into its holder, stood up and began to pace. “So every President has been offered this?” he asked, fishing for information.
Merlin nodded.
“So all of them were Initiates?”
Merlin remained stone-faced.
“I can’t believe they’d all do it.” Adam began listing past presidents, watching for any telltale sign. Merlin maintained his poker-face. “Come on! You’ve gotta give me something. One goddamn name! That’s all. Who was…crazy enough — ?”
“Open-minded enough — ”
“Reckless enough — ”
“Daring enough — ”
Adam shook his head in frustration. “Whatever the hell you want to call it…to do this?”
“Like you, Mr. President, I’ve taken an oath. Mine prevents me from answering your questions.”
Adam frowned. At least I can trust him to keep a secret.
Merlin’s inscrutable mask softened. “But I can tell you that for some, their religious upbringing caused them to view the Mysteries of Isis as the work of the devil.”
“So they refused!”
Merlin smiled. “Not necessarily.”
Adam growled, “How the hell could they get away with it?”
“From the scrutiny?”
“Yeah,” Adam replied, with a nod to the Secret Service standing post out on the Portico.
Merlin shot him a conspiratorial look. “There are ways, Mr. President. Believe me, there are ways.”
Merlin might be able to fool his staff, even the Secret Service, but there were no tricks that could fool a wife. Especially Eve. “I’m married, dammit! What about my wife?”
“There are already many affairs of State that you can’t share with her,” Merlin said matter-of-factly. “This would just be another.”
“Affairs of State, huh?”
Adam’s sarcasm wasn’t lost on Merlin. “I can assure you, Mr. President, you will learn many things that, if you decide to share them with your wife, she will find most…enjoyable.”
Could these Initiations resurrect the smoldering ruins of his marriage? The last thing in the world he wanted to do was be unfaithful. No matter how Merlin rationalized it, he’d be cheating on his wife.
From the moment this strange man had walked into the Oval, Adam had been thrown off balance. Now his head was spinning. And yet… There was something about him that made Adam want to confide in him. He sat down in his rocking chair. “Are you familiar with the Agency’s psychic division?”
“Yes.” Merlin sat on the couch next to him.
“They claim to be able to look into the future.”
“And why not? Time is just an illusion.”
“Perhaps.” Adam glanced at his watch. “Didn’t that letter say something about time?”
Merlin recited the passage. “Initiation may grant you the sacred privilege of glimpsing the Realm of the Gods, wherein you will perceive, through the all-seeing Eye of God, beyond the illusion of Time and thereby receive the divine Vision with which to govern wisely.”
“So an Initiate can see into the future?”
“Knowing the future might be helpful, don’t you think?”
Adam thought he detected a knowing gleam in Merlin’s eyes. Does he know what the psychics told me? Though he wanted to ask him about it, he couldn’t reveal classified information. Standing abruptly, he retreated behind his desk. “Realm of the Gods? Realm of Lunacy is more like it! I can’t believe I’m having this conversation!”
Merlin pursued him. “Are you aware, Mr. President, that there are hundreds of prophecies from around the world that predict a great shift of some kind occurring at this time? All these prophecies are saying basically the same thing — the world as we know it is ending. Now more than ever we need a leader who can see into the future and turn the End of Time into a New Beginning.”
Adam stared out the window and wondered if Merlin was crazy. But what could be crazier than having no future?
“And don’t let the sex scare you,” Merlin added. “This isn’t what you think of as sex. The truth is you have no idea what sex really is!”
Adam confronted Merlin. “What the hell are you talking about?!”
Merlin sighed. “There’s no way you can understand without actually experiencing Initiation.” He slung his leather bag over his shoulder and grabbed his cane. Before leaving, he placed an envelope on Adam’s desk. “I implore you, Mr. President, to accept Initiation into the Mysteries of Isis.”
Adam stared at the envelope for a long time so he wouldn’t have to meet Merlin’s probing gaze. When he finally looked up, he was surprised that Merlin was gone.
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