Plight of a Server: Part III/ Labor Day Edition

My life working in the service industry has taught me all sort of lessons. It is amazing how I learn something new about humanity every day. Just when I think I have seen it all, someone does something that amazes me further. So, for your reading pleasure, I am going to share with a brand new list of things people do that just make me shake my head.
*Please take all of this with a grain of humor. I love people but sometimes certain behaviors leave me speechless.
1. When people walk in and immediately tell me where they are going to sit… Don’t. I get that you have a preference and you give the person a second they will probably ask you about your preference. It’s like me being invited over to your house where you are having a party in your living room and me farting in your bed. Pretty sure that’s not OK, right?
2. When you sit down and immediately get angry that a menu isn’t magically in front of you… No. Clearly we want you to have a menu because (let’s be real) no server wants to recite the entire menu for you. Just have some patience.
3. When you come in with a large group of people and get angry when you can’t be sat immediately… No good for any of us. Not all places can accommodate a party of 12 instantly. Most places will make you wait a few minutes. And not all places take reservations so if you have to wait a few minutes, it is what it is. Believe you me all of us would like to get you sat, fed, and on your way but sometimes life throws lemons at us. Please, don’t turn that into poo. We do the best we can.
4. Along those same lines, when a large group of people come in and take it upon themselves to move tables around without speaking to an employee… Very Not OK. There are rules and regulations, guys. Fire Codes and Health Codes that every restaurant has to go by. You moving 15 tables to fit your 25 people is not kosher. It’s like me walking into your house, deciding I don’t like the way your couch is, and just moving it in front of your door. Not very convenient, right? Not to mention polite….
5. When people bring their dogs to a place and get mad at me for not immediately catering to the dog… Come on… Listen I love your dog. I think you’re dog is adorable and brilliant and amazing and I want nothing but to sit down and cuddle with that cute animal but I’m not waiting on an animal. I’m waiting on you and you will be my first priority… unless you’re dog is paying and that would be an amazing trick I’d like to see…
6. When you get mad at me when I say no I can’t sell two beers to one person and tell you I have to see the other person… Really? Listen I know you are a 100 year old man and I can probably safely assume you’re wife is of legal age (though you never know) but I can’t sell a beer to an invisible person. It’s not my call. It’s a state law so please (for the love of apple skins) stop getting angry at me for a decision I have nothing to do with… unless you want to pay my bills when I get fired for selling that beer to a ghost…
7. When I ask you if you want ranch and you say no but then when you’re food comes out you’re like, “Where the heck is my ranch?”… Enough is enough. Please listen to your server when they ask you questions because we would rather you tell us everything you need at once. And it is even more frustrating when we already ask you if you need something, say no, then say yes when we have a million other things to take care… like the lady at the next table who also has a ranch addiction… just saying…
8. When you get mad that I can’t accommodate all your modifications… please stop. I get it we all have our likes, things we like done a certain way and cooked at a certain angle but please understand that when I say I can’t do something its because I can’t, not because I don’t want to, but because that kitchen is a thousand tickets deep and drowning and modified orders cause chaos… I don’t cook your food. I just pass the message along. I don’t run the restaurant. I merely work there.
9. When you know you are eating somewhere and you have a long list of things you cannot eat but you don’t look at the menu before you come in and then get mad at me for not being to tell you what you can eat… Do your research. I am here to help but I don’t know intimately your dietary needs. Help me help you. If you have a gluten allergy, you have a better idea of what you can eat more than me who can literally eat anything. I’m allergic to Penicillin and metal and certain dyes so I have to be careful sometimes if I get strep throat or what kind of materials I put on my skin so I do my own research before going to see a doctor just so I am prepared for my own well being. She is there to help me but she can’t help me if I don’t give her the information she needs. We aren’t mind readers. And really as much as we get frustrated with each other, none of us want to call an ambulance…
10. When you get mad at us for asking if you need anything… Sigh. You know I get that some people want to come in, mind their own business, and go on their merry way. I am exactly that sort of customer. When a server checks on you, it is because we want to be sure that you have everything you need. It’s not because we want to bug you or be your best friend or sit down with you and learn your dirty secrets. It’s not to swindle you out of your hard earned money because we work for tips. 95% of the servers that you come across ask if you are doing all right because we genuinely want to make sure you are doing OK, no ulterior motives… so please stop rolling your eyes at me if I ask you if your burger is cooked right, please stop speaking to me in a tone that I am less of a human being when I ask you if you need another Dr Pepper… We’re people just like you…
I’ve met some pretty great people working in this industry so I don’t want people to think that I’m being horrible. As all jobs do, there are struggles. When you are constantly in front of people, it can get frustrating but it’s part of the job. And, honestly, I am being a bit snarky about all of this but it’s all from a place of humor. Sometimes I just think we forget how to treat each other. Sometimes I think we need a reminder that we’re all people with faults and scars and triggers. I think we forget how to treat people with compassion. And I think people who work in the customer service industry whether it be a restaurant or a convenient store or a retail store or whatever get the blunt end of people’s cruelty. So, next time you’re going through that grocery store line, ask that clerk how their day is going. Next time you sit down at a restaurant, smile at that server. Next time you buy a pack of gum at the gas station, say thank you and mean it. I get these sort of jobs are not the most glorious but they are part of our every days. And maybe today of all days we should just be grateful for all the work that all of us do. We’re just trying to be our best selves, folks.
To see the first two editions of the Plight of a Server, please visit my blog at twistedaardvark.com under The Things We Learn Page. It might make you chuckle out loud. Happy Labor Day to all!!!!