“I Do… Because My Parents Asked Me To”

What Else To Do After Landing A Job!

I was in a deep meditative state and would have attained the inevitable enlightenment had it not been for the tiny purple envelope that suddenly appeared under my nose.

It was the size of a computer mouse. The envelope; not my nose.

I looked up and found my bespectacled friend grinning so wide, that I was afraid his lips would touch his ears. “It’s my wedding!” said he and his lips got back to the ears, I was almost curious now to see if it did touch.

I congratulated him and was genuinely happy for the guy.

I opened the card and kept the conversation going but I was puzzled looking at the first line that said ‘hi Puf’.

The intricately designed card with the obligatory Hindu deity had this line; Which by the way, was a definite typo because it was not short for powerpuff or powderpuff or mince mutton puff. It was definitely not short for Siva. His name.

It made me wonder how devoted slash invested he was into this wedding. Now, I am not (that) judgmental but the first question that came to my head: Was this marriage arranged? It was.

It made sense in certain ways that this was not something that he genuinely wanted, it was something of an obvious ‘next’ step in life. I could only imagine the plight of the bride. She would have had little to no-say in it. After all, this was an Indian arranged wedding which is dangerously tied together by knots of false promises, bargaining, ego clashes and of course, compromise on the wishes of the families of the two individuals, who will remain forgotten until that fateful day.

The two who would meet for probably the fifth time in their lives and sleep together for the rest of it.

I sat back and continued looking at my aglet pondering why it is such a need to get the children married and showcase that event to those who wouldn’t even know their last names -unless they looked at the invite- and bless their souls, for they will take on the role of a marriage critic on how terrible/wonderful the decorations are made and begin the mandatory “if it were me, I would have brought the moon to light up this place…but the food is good!” talks.

Of course, there will be genuine well-wishers but it’s still a wedding that has been brought together by people who want their kids to get laid before they bite the dust. Trust me; there are other ways to do that.

As a child, I believed that people can choose if they want it arranged or find someone of their own. As I grew wiser, I realized the arranged type happens only because of three reasons: Either the individual is an annoying person with no game or the parents hold a shotgun to his/her head -or themselves!- <dun dun dun> but mostly they are given the narrow vision by the society which they graciously accept.

The hounds of the society, disguised as the well-wishing relatives will sniff out the unmarried kids. They will silently incept the image of crow feet and wrinkled skin causing the parents to panic because undoubtedly beauty over brains is what is necessary to sell their child.

They would present the miraculous solution of knowing either a fair and tall girl whose only known talent is to sing a wild boar to sleep or a prospective groom who can buy an island but is probably a hundred fifty nine years old. If only parents knew and realized that in the end, it is the happiness of what their child wants and backing them up on their goals is the ultimate responsibility. The hounds will then look down upon you for five minutes before moving away to another offensive decision that narrowly misses the society norms.

Money and beauty are exhaustive and sometimes sinusoidal and if that’s the checklist you’re going for then you might as well marry a decorative ATM.

The world is a huge place with endangered explorers. The next step in life after landing a job is not marriage; the idea that has been drilled down to the cranium for generations is purely stupid; it is the same as deciding what being successful means but that’s another story.

Love, is an amazing thing to feel, to experience, to give, and to receive — do I sound like Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S?-. I am fortunate to be in love and it is something that I wake up each day thanking every imaginary friend to have ever been made.

Finding love, for me has been an adventure and tons -and I mean tons- of growing up. If I visited my past self, I would find a scrawny person chasing skin-deep pretty people for the sheer fun of it and letting them go once reeled in. Now, I’m a scrawny person who admires the alluring beauty of a being who wear their scars as comfortably as a jerkin on a cold day. I believe it is an important item on your bucket list to find love and never settle.

It will easily be a while before people stop throwing this party to celebrate the togetherness of two strangers. And don’t even get me started on the social media check-ins and invites. Hence, this is why you will find me in any of the wedding (in the rare scenario that I do attend) pictures rolling my eyes at all the fake smiles and the terribly annoying ‘romantic’ poses.

I’d also probably be rushed to the emergency room from cracking a rib at the customary lines such as “aww such a cute couple” “made for each other” “it’s a match made in heaven” Pfft…….. They met like a whole five minutes ago! –unfortunately, sometimes that’s literal-

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