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Labels are very useful things; and with great usefulness comes great responsibility. They help us categorize, identify, and define objects, people, emotions, and behaviors. This is very useful when we want to identify the difference between a chair and a table. Generally, everyone has the same basic understanding of the difference between a chair and a table. We use chairs for sitting and occasionally as step ladders while we use tables as a surface for eating, working, or holding frequently used objects (like lamps or alarm clocks).

The Trouble with Labels

Using labels to define people, emotions, and behaviors, on the other hand, gets…


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There was a moment when I was giving birth to my son that I looked at my husband and said, “I don’t know if I can do this”. He said, “the only way through the pain is to have the baby.” This was prearranged so I did not lash out at him. I regrouped and rallied my emotional reserves and that day we welcomed our son.

This year I had the opportunity to walk across fire and I felt my foot get burned. This happens sometimes and I knew it was a possibility. Unbidden, this phrase once again rose in…


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In Part 1 of this series, we discussed boundaries in depth. As a refresher, a boundary is the line of demarcation between one person’s consent and another’s agency. This article will be covering curiosity and requests. The two things, used together, help us manage boundaries and navigate through other’s boundaries.

Practicing curiosity

I’m going to borrow from the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy model and look first at what is happening in our minds that drives actions. In this approach to therapy, there is a model called the Thought-Emotion-Action (TEA) Triangle. The model starts with some event that initiates a thought, the thought leads…


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Photo by Randy Fath on Unsplash

Learning how to recognize and manage your boundaries and respect others’ boundaries is key to growing emotional intelligence and generally being a better human. Most importantly, managing boundaries is essential to healthy conflict, reduced stress, and creating a psychologically safe environment for yourself.

In the first of this two-part blog, we’ll dig into understanding boundaries. In the coming weeks, stay tuned for a blog on the skill of practicing curiosity and making requests which can help you manage the sometimes tumultuous landscape of your inner dialogue and maybe the panorama of someone else’s boundaries.

Would you like FRIES with that?

We spend just over 13 years…


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A couple of years ago I had an opportunity to be promoted. I evaluated the role. I had a plan for how I would implement in that role. I talked to the hiring manager (my manager at the time). I talked to my network inside the company. I knew the competition and, in my estimation, I was a better fit for the role and for the direction the organization should take. I was certain I had the position in the bag.

And then, I didn’t get the promotion. One of my peers got the position and became my new boss…

Jessica Katz

Coach, Trainer, and Speaker. Find more here: https://liberatedelephant.com/

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