This goes out to the special person who is reading my blog. Please respond somehow with a simple a, b, c.
Scenario a- Worst Case
This is the one where a married guy who is bored with life and suffering from a decade of being chained to the wrong person for reasons that defy logic to some degree and must be at least slightly pathological decides to reach out to a girl with the secret hope that it will at least be entertaining. In this scenario, the guy really has no intention of ever changing his lifestyle, leaving his spouse, venturing into the unknown for a better stab at long-term happiness for both him and his children, and in this scenario, married guy is just trying to get his kicks, find companionship outside his marriage, hoping to have someone satisfy him in all the ways his wife cannot.
At the end of the day, however, all the affair will ever be will be payback to an unfaithful wife- after all, he feels entitled to partake in at least some of the fun she’s been having over the years- and he’s successful at giving her a taste of her own medicine. Even other people say, “well, it’s good that wife got a taste of her own medicine,” as if the girl in the equation is just a pawn.
And, as pettiness would have it, the whole situation becomes a brilliant part in the games husband and wife play, games that the wife is a master at (after all, she’s the one calling the shots), because now she has all this extra ammunition to manipulate with- now, she can be the good wife, fighting for her marriage, saving her husband from being confused or led astray from the will of God. Now, she can be the repentful sinner who gets to finally transform- and who doesn’t love a good comeback story? It renews our faith in God, right? So Holy!
And he gets to finally have his wife fight for him, and maybe that’s what he wanted all along? He just wanted to feel wanted by someone who clearly wanted other guys. And he’s comfortable with this existence. It’s a nice ego boost to have her fighting for him again. He lacks the courage for change or to push for any better. They’re going to work on their marriage. His satisfaction comes in lying to himself that he’s satisfied.
Scenario b- It Was Real
In this one married guy and side-piece girl fucked up. They sinned. They didn’t do the right thing. Truth is, they sinned in all the scenarios. Let’s make that known.
But, in this one, something else happened too. The exchange between them was unplanned, unscripted. Something real developed. And while they were sinning by exploring that something real, things went deeper and deeper, and pretty soon they were connected on levels they didn’t even know were possible to connect on. In this scenario, both of them prayed, reached out to God for his will and assistance, and therefore most of their conversations took on a nature of honesty, purity, and actual love. It wasn’t just the shallow “I want you” kind of love, but also the kind that says, “I would sacrifice anything for your happiness.” True love- the kind that’s modeled through Christ.
So, what happened in this scenario? Fear kept married guy from being able to run fearlessly, boldly, into what God had laid out as the next chapter in his life. He was simply too scared of the fallback- all of the opinions and actions of others that would coincide and the immediate hell that it would bring him and his children and how it would rip up his entire world and force him to start over from scratch.
But he’s also afraid of something else. See, it’s bad enough that his wife was a piece of shit liar, if this new girl ever does anything like that then it really does say something about him, doesn’t it? He can’t please his woman. Has he not failed tremendously as a man?
So, for all those fears, and everyone around him giving their opinions and hitting him from all angles, he cant focus long enough to realize that what he’s throwing away is the opportunity to really love and have someone who really loves him and would treat him the way a man deserves to be treated, the way a real woman should treat a man. What he’s throwing away is an opportunity to show the whole world, and especially his children, that you should never settle on this earth- that settling for less than God’s ultimate plan and wishes for you is never the answer- that no matter HOW scary it is, you just have to always go for it and always push for more- that true love, full of loyalty and honor, is possible for those who sacrifice.
There is no fear in Love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.The one who fears is not made in perfect love. John 4:18
See, in this scenario, married guy really is courageous deep down, but he’s been burying it for so long that he’s convinced himself he’s not that guy. (And the devil is really good at reinforcing that lie.) He’s been living a lie for so long, he’s almost believing it’s real.
He’s really the right guy for the girl but something needs to break in him for him to bring the real him to the surface again to give him the courage to change his world. In this scenario, all of the crying and praying the girl has done for him has not been in vain. Her visions for him were real. It really was God who put all that love and all those visions in her heart and really allowed her to see him for his true spirit, underneath all the bullshit, and know how bad he was hurting from the first day they met, and physically see what was happening the first time he shared his story with her, which mirrored her own suicide attempt three months prior, and thus blended their lives together.
See, the rest of the world sees a guy who “keeps it all together,” but the girl knows how broken he truly is. The girl has seen it- and she wants nothing more for friends and family and people who truly care to enter his life and help him heal.
In this one, it makes sense that she would always have unconditional understanding, compassion, and forgiveness towards his sister for eight years even when she has never offered that to anyone else and something that felt like unfinished business would bring her back to her old stomping grounds and she’d literally feel, days before meeting him, like God was preparing her for something and she’d write those exact words in her journal. It was all part of the plan.
See, he brought her closer to God and she reminded him of his true self and it wasn’t supposed to stop there. They were meant to do things with that, together. And it’s not over. There’s always hope. When the whole world is telling her to give up hope, God is saying: no, my daughter, keep praying; my perfect will is stronger.
Scenario c- Unbearable
This scenario is a mixture of a and b. The truth is muddled right along with the lies so that it comes out mushy and lukewarm. See, this scenario is Satan’s favorite. This is the one where lines are blurred and there literally is nothing but confusion and chaos. Nothing is real because everything comes with a cycle of endless questioning. Even something that felt directly from God is questionable. It is a direct reflection of the state of the world where truth is constantly being watered down into nothingness so that when people experience TRUE loyalty and love and honor they actually question it rather than greet it with open arms.
This is the scenario where both parties just become immobile. Paralyzed. Unable to do anything because there is no clear direction and they question their own judgment and pull on their heart.
See, this is Plato’s Allegory of the Cave:
Three prisoners chained inside the cave get their own glimpses of the outside world by the moving of shadows on the wall. When one of the prisoners breaks free, he tries to show the others the actual objects in the light. But the prisoners refuse. The light hurts their eyes. They are happier just looking at the shadows. They react violently to their former friend and reject him and his light and views.
The world is in prison. We, as a society, are settling for shadows. When someone comes in and shines a light, we typically reject them and run away. This is Scenario C. All of the Truth that came out of the exchange between two similar souls will be completely overshadowed by the lies, games, and filth of the world, and even if ONE prisoner gets free he/she is ineffective on his/her own and all of their shared visions completely dissipate.
The world is duller, uglier, plainer, without each other in it. Conversations are more stale, more basic. They are living their lives a level lower than where they could have been. They are in the water- not above it.
Scenario c is Hell.